Finally have some time of my own again to surf net and online..

well a short blog of it cos I want to spend some time to surf online shop and buy some clothes.. hahha ^_^

*back after answering phonecall* with my cooper resting on my lap*heehee*

Looking back my last post here is 26/09/09 .. woah 3 months back.. that is long always never have time to really sit at the desktop due to Dear dear be always sitting here doing his assignment..
As for work place.. security is time plus no time to surf.. haiz..
Ho ho ho keep nagging to me.. not to work so late.. ya i know and i understand.. i wanna spend quality time with my dear cooper too.. only sat and sunday not enough.. he is much sticky to Chris than me.. humpf..

well three months ago started this new work.. now finally got confirm.. at the least have some bits of bonus this year end.. and well.. Dear got himself a new job too.. his offset leave be the least consolation to his bonus he had forgo.. well alot of ppl ask him why he does not want to wait till bonus then leave.. well well it is the time and the place bah..

14/12/09 - will be his new start of his work..
Congrad and all the best.. wish that the grass is really greener out there..

As for us.. some of our resolution is fullfill.. house be fully paid by this year end.. wishlist got strike off with the help of cooper and polo bun into our life..

Hopefully everything goes well..
Time passes so fast everyday.. blink blink it is friday blink blink it is another month..
and today is my Sis bdae.. suppose to celebrate by eating steamboat today.. but as no one is able to be home early to prep, steamboat has been delay to tomorrow.. shall buy her a bdae cake tomorrow .. *grin*
but sad to say.. this is after so many years.. my first with memory time to celebrate my sis bdae..
i should say mom quite bias.. every year i get to celebrate .. but not them..
haiz.. time to compensate..

*making my full hope to pull the whole family bond together*
I wish I hope, time can really turn back to the past when everyone is so happy..
not becos of advantage and treat the other goods.. life should not be in this way..

Anniversary

This post is meaningful..

cos Our first year of marriage life 09/09/09, we totally forget about it and until others mention it and we realise..

So never really celebrate it and just simply spend it like every other day..

Hope the next year.. we will remember and all our resolution will come true.. :)

Ho hO hO

After just a long delay.. finally i am posting 1 entry now..
Just started this new job for nearly a month now.. overall just can describe is BUSY
every min and hour is doing work.. and you will work till 7 plus one..

Invoice, packing list, tracking of shipment, replying email, filing and not to forget printing of check list..

I should say getting this job is not easy.. it is all fate.. just like my cooper~~
but I am glad that I got in and I am happy working .. and with the pay too.. wahahaha

Cooper is coming to 4 months now..
Very naughty at times, his first time alone at home for 8 hours straight and make us all busy with him when we come back.. cos.. he is so smart that he know how to open the play-pen that we kept him (cos we normally dun ledge) and running out around the living room to shit and pee..

haiz.. still need time to teach.. and his guts.. very hamchi.. hahahahha abit only got frighten and shiver .. know how to make him secure..?? put him near to your nehs loh.. hahahah he like it wor.. wo de nai.. hahahahahah

Was trying to upload a post.. but it seem blogger facing some problem as the layout seem weird..

but anyway.. wish to jot down something that is sweet happen to me yesterday..

Aglio Olio is one of my fav pasta..
yesterday dear dear perform his chef skill and cook that for me..

from the start of first pasta cook , very hot but have a feel of tasteless to the second try , add in some butter.. it turn out to be lesser hot and smell of butter taste to the last and most succeed one.. hot and very light butter smell..

I guess love is like that.. it is always very hot and passion on the very start of the relationship,
after few try.. know what it is lack of we began to sprinkle bits and pieces of garish into the relationship.. and to the very last moment, it will turn out to be a very tasty dish. .. erm i mean love.. hahha

so cooking and love is the same logic..

but what i wanna say here was.. thanks dear for cooking the second time for me..

After 3 days of work in the new workplace

*phew* super tired, everyday passes very fast.. but sob sob.. not able to use office com to surf web... sob sob.. but good things is .. I finally feel I am working.. worth getting the value of pay with the number of work I got to do.. And lots more of things to learn. Everyday there is new things to learn.. simply like a new baby.. but i have my own expectation .. I guess though my boss say he expect me to learn those work in 3 months.. I give my self 1 1/2 month to master it.. and use 1 month to be on my own...

Haha the things that I like best guess is the coffee machine !!!and there is a cleaner auntie that is being employ to work all day.. wah lao eh.. no more washing of own cup but we does wash it on our own unless we using company cup.. argh.. I use once.. there is stain.. yucks.. haha there is additional off days in this company too.. haha coming this July 17th I get to enjoy 1 official off day and the next one will be on 24 Dec.. sian.. if I join during June.. I will get to enjoy one more too.. wahaha..

But what I wish most is OT i want to work OT .. in order to earn more money lah of cos.. see how lah.. hmm Dear dear say should buy a car now.. heart pain I have to squeeze on train and take shuttle bus.. with that bad experience I had on my first day of work..

Date: 23rd June 2009
Time : After Lunch
Venue : TVL Office, SK room
Person involve : SK Yeo, Janet Law, Amy Lin

After tendering resignation letter, I was never spoke to SK ( my boss) again. Unless needed on work, helping Janet to reply some of his bo liao question. In the past, when I am still a co-ordinator, I use to find his question funny, but enjoy those time playfully argue with him and such.. but after I get to the supervisory post, I began to realise, sitting in this position people is not feeling as enjoyable as I was feeling when I am still a small fry. It all began when I take up this position and it end when I decide to leave this shit.. sad to say, I got Janet into this shit company.. I am truely sorry.. but what I have done today was purely and solely only me, Janet is not involve

It started with SK where he start digging our past work that have been done and comparing to us, asking us why is all the rates charge to Customer A and Customer B is different.
When I start explaining to him, he will start talking back on why are we giving special to those customer who does not regularly provide us shipment, why are we always being so good to them.
So in order and hoping that the meeting will end fast and furious, below happens

Amy : So you are saying that we should be billing all customer( co-loader) the high end rates and regardless the fact that he is in the same trade as us

SK : I did not say that!! DO NOT put words in my mouth!!

Amy : YOU DID NOT SAY THAT? THEN WHO IS TALKING JUST NOW WITH ALL THOSE BULLSxxx, ASKING US WHY ARE WE GIVING SPECIAL RATES??? I have got enough of your nonsence, stop trying to act you are the best when you are not. You are just a FXXX-ing BastXXX !!!

And I kick hardly on the table which collasp and there goes the pc monitor and stuff place on the table.

I wish I could give a good kick on his groin too.. wahaha but timid me run away, out of the office before anyone can catch me..

I am writing up here cos I wish to tell everyone I am innocent, he was the one that make me go out of hand.. pls.. can someone help me out of it??

*****************************************************************************************
*****************************************************************************************

Above written is all base on my own imagination which hope you all have a good scare.. plus a good laugh..
Though my boss is a sucker.. I still have my EQ to control my action..
Be responsible for your action.

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Over the weekend I have been going thru a stressful week.. I really thought that something serious within my body that I might not live long.. but it seem.. I might have been thinking too much.. after poping some pills regularly this few days, my condition seem to be better now..

*hoping that it will not come back again*

But at that moment of time when I really thought I am going to go thru the same things as my dad.. the first thought that flash into my mind is .. I wanna a divorce with Dear.. I dun wanna drag him along with my suffering cos I know the pain to see the love one to leave.. and before that .. you get to see your love one slowly losing its health and you know you dun have much time to be with him/her..
I would rather to suffer alone.. without looking the painfulness in my family members eyes and expression.. cos I know.. they will be keeping it inside until very hard.. (or maybe.. they will not be ffeeling a thing, which in fact hoping me to die)

Anyway.. I really draft out something that hopefully I got enough to let my mom go thru her old age in comfort.. and I can leave with peace.. and not dragging Dear.. let him free and get a better ger into his life..

Cos I know.. I am not a good wife, not a good gf.. can only consider a good friends.. cos.. I always making him angry..
谢谢你忍耐我的任性， 可是我就是喜欢你宠我的样子

This is about a birthday celebration for him, which I plan it 3 months ahead, and adding more surprise day by day month by month just want him to enjoy it and relax over the weekend..

Starting off our day at home and been bug by him what time are we going out.. and asking how many ppl are there.. hahah I got a bunch of good friends that did not leak out any secrets.. and helping me thru.. so he tot it was a big whole bunch of ppl coming out to celebrate... haha sorry loh.. I want quality time to spend with you.. YOU only..



Took a cab to the destination.. haha so scare he heard where I told the cab driver.. but lucky he did not.. and he sound surprise when we reach the destination. and woohoo.. God seem to know that it is a special day, arrange a merc cab for us.. wahaha..



Alrighty.. First stop UNDER WATER WORLD @ Sentosa.. After checking into the Resort, and he finally know this trip is only JUST the 2 of us, he feel so happy and we went to underwater world though there was no discount or free tickets for us.. but as it was the first time he went , it meant special for him.. though he is Navy..

By the way, did you spot the smiling Sting ray??



Not sure are you all able to see the small print on the photos I have edited..

So you dun have to go diving before you can see those underwater creature.. Breathing is so good.. haha .. thank God that our Lumix did not fail us able to take some ''quite clear'' photos..



Ok our sweet moment should be post up too.. haha let you all jealous how sweet we are..
Did i mention I play the luge ride?
Did I tell you all that He throw a spider on me ? Ok not throw.. is when he trying to get rid of it and 不小心 land the spider on me..
Did I alert you that the spider is still no where to find?
哈哈
Did I tell others that how nervous he was when he taking the sky ride?



See below: Warning Vic.. better not see it..



Wat wrong with the ride loh.. so nice view..






But god damn it.. I lost my black cap when getting off.. ta ma ma de..



Ending with our dinner on the Cable car.. 3 course meals .. so everytime it goes to the Jewel box after 1 whole trip we will get to change the course.. from starter, main then dessert.. Sadly to say due to the bumpy ride on the cable car.. at the 3 course (dessert) I have decided not to take it.. I got so touch by dear dear that he straight away say then we go off dun take the dessert..
But I guess Jewel Box have expect this kind of cases happen lots of time, so in the end we get to eat it at their Jewel Box rest. instead.. ha ha .. nice view but too dark so unable to take much photos.. and among all the foods guess the dessert is the best.. but I really cannot take it.. as the butterfly is still in my stomach flip flap flip flap.. so Chris finish half of mine and all of his..

Romantic dinner is you pay for the ambiance not the food.. cos.. ahem.. but the view is really nice.. watching the sunset.. so beautiful...

Oh did I tell you the resort Skypool is fantastic too?



Total Flim kill? 152 photos..

Two post at 1 go..

People asking me it has been a long time since I last update.. cos I got no time to log in and edit my photos before I can post it online ma..

So here go.. the first post post dated blog which Me, Chris and Nerd spend our first last week of May together

Was thinking to go from PUB to sing K and then pa pool.. in the end our days was spend at DOME @ Park Mall..

Shopping for clothes to wear on YT and Her God-Sis wedding, we shop the whole this fashion without any thing that caught our eyes..

Finally we get to Dome and can sit down get to eat our dinner and have a cup of coffee.. shiok man..



Lao Gong & Lao Er




Lao Gong & Lao Da

See.. cos small one is always the pamper one.. hahaha



My Dinner and my fav Salmon !!



My type of coffee "Flat White" which lucky and I am glad that I ask the service crew what coffee taste like Latte since we have 2 free coffee to chose from.. "Long Black or Flat White"

argh.. just realise I did not take down the Long Black photos.. hahaha it taste awfully bitter.. even with 3 pkts of sugar also cannot take it.. a very unique taste though.. but not the 3 of us type of coffee..
So Chris order another coffee and share with Lao er (Cafe Mocha)



**End of post..by showing somemore candid photos I have take while they two playing with iphone.. zzzzzzz i got ignore by them..**

Cheeky Chris

Nerdy Nerd

So where me??? hmpf

Additional to the coming out Chris bdae.. i have accidentally let the cat out of the bag to let him know that there will be staying over at "somewhere" on his celebration.. oh gosh that was very stupid of me.. to leak out that secret I have been hiding for a few months..

Surprise surprise.. I have been planning alot of things in my mind keeping alot of stuff in my heart.. just to see that day.. to see his greatest smile and feel his happiness ..

hahaha oh gosh.. I am more like a guy than a ger.. but I only know.. i wish to give him all the happiness like what he has wanted to give to me too..

Also .. yesterday have finally made up my decision .. after receiving a call from the agency.. letter will be tender on Monday.. really trouble and stress what will happen after Monday.. and I feel so sorry to give such a big surprise to YT as she has so many things to worry on her oncoming wedding.. but.. the fact this.. after deciding to leave apart from feeling sad to leave those fellow colleagues.. I feel a sense of relieve ..

Last Saturday I have my pre-advance celebration of Birthday.. This year quite special.. cos was a plan surprise by Chris and Raymond to surprise both their partners.. Me and Lynn as we are just 3 days apart from each other birthday which also coincidence her birthday was on the same day as my best mentor teacher I have.. Carine Anyway the whole week i was having ups and downs on well.. what birthday gift i will be having and where he will be taking me.. As a clever girl I was.. the plan of surprise i have got right is the iternary.. Movies, dinner and such.. ahhaha the surprise that caught me was to Cafe del Mar.. I think it has been always my wish to go with him to the night cafe del mar..
Lets view the story thru slide story

Thanks for the birthday celebration you have prep

For those numerous time of interview, this is my first time being interview in a group.
An experience to be.. and to know and get to see/hear how others reaction for various question thrown to us.
Paper no longer important, experience in the trade no longer useful/selling point for the job
But each and individual reaction on the different things.
Some are indeed a good talker which when you listen to what they say, you will think "wah a perfect answer" but well.. I guess for that it gain me some bits more of the interview knowledge.. haha
Anyway .. I guess or I should say, there is alot more of much experience and knowledgeable ppl out there to compete with me.. I don't think I stand a good chance on that job.. well just sit and wait bah.

Been not updating for quite awhile.. lazy to post and upload my photos and i still pending for more photos to update one of my special blog.. ha ha
Anyway Saturday Dear dear is asking me out wor.. not knowing going where but to dress nice but causal hmm am I looking forward for it? Of cos lah, still need to say..

A post of sadness again..

Granny have left us.. 16/04/09 early morning..
Very disappointed on those relative reaction, they simply only waiting for Granny to pass away.. never really care for her own being..

I tried protected in every other way.. but it seem to turn out I am the baddies to them..
I never like politic or even playing games.. but to them.. I have to .. to be baddie and not to be mess with.. in order not to be bully by them..

I hate to be like this.. cos.. I will think and get angry over those happening..

Family should not be like this..

And alot of things have to be change..

Recently.. lots of impact news come down to me..

Grandma case.. make me heart break and think back, how could human be so heartless

KK case.. make me more firm to cherish people around me.. but too appreciate I am still living..

But really.. If i really gonna die one day, I would really wish to scatter my ashes in the deep sea, and there is not a need to set a tablet for me.. I just wish.. a day of missing me.. this will be enough.. as I believe life goes on.. no point hogging on me and never forget.. I dun wish ppl to be sad over.. as my wish and life always is want to let everyone around me to be happy.. stay happy and cheerful..

Even dun miss me also be fine.. I have already move on.. I dun want anyone to think of me and be sad.. really.. remember that

Last week had a long weekend, we plan out to have a cycling outing with Raymond and Lynn on the Saturday plus a lunch buffet at East coast. Reasoning out is not to make us look so sinful after a hearty meal as we did work out..

We went to this rest. call The Seafood for a lunch buffet, www.lobster.com.sg
Well on the internet, the photos look attractive.. but the rest i guess think for the consumer alot that afraid we waste the food, and the limit us with our consumption. As in their serving will always be just right for the no. of person dining.. like the salad prawn, actually we like it alot.. but every serving is only 4 spoon with a prawn on each spoon.




This mini abalone is one of the dishes that lure us there.. but haha photo looks big.. in real.. well..

He manage to eat it in a mouthful..



Overall rating is.. the service is not bad.. but will strong recommend to do reservation for your dining.. to avoid sitting outside.. as there is lots of ants.. and the noon sun is scorching.. Also the noodle we have order when we settle down, but in the end, it was serve at the near end of the meal, have to ask for twice and their reply was to check with the kitchen. Well nothing good to be expect, the ee-foo noodle is not as nice as others..






After a hearty meal, it should be a rest with Patapon before we start our cycling journey..
The price is acceptable .. but i guess he does not quite like the food..
Gonna source for a nicer place in the near future..



The sun, sand and the sea.. so tempted to jump into the dirty greeny water.. haha no lah.. it is not that er xin after all..



The only photo taken after we start riding.. stupid.. I forget to take while we at the jetty.. but it is super hot lah..

Haiz.. problem problem problem.. why is there always problem never ending..
Things that I want not fullfill.. things i dun wish.. have to come ..
Haiz.. what to do..
WOrried is here again..

This week.. no update at all.. worth a post on lyrics..

搞笑

作詞：陳鎮川 / 作曲：李偉菘

那一條牙膏 在對我傻笑
嘲笑我永遠用不掉
想睡就睡 想鬧就鬧
好快樂少了人嘮叨

藍色的碗盤 多買了一套
我忘了沒人陪我通宵
要多少替代的丑角 無辜的陪笑
才會讓我能真的忘了你的好

我在搞笑 藉著熱鬧 掩蓋著心跳
邊哭邊笑 偏要說著 一個人真好
當人群散了 突然覺得我可以死掉
我受不了
還在搞笑 害怕回家 不知怎麼熬
這麼多年 早就習慣 有你的撒嬌
我想我能熬 但是至少要讓我知道 你好不好

我們的小狗 食量變好小
眼神裡常常顯得無聊
牠習慣睡覺的床尾 少了一雙腳
所以牠常常看著門口睡不著

我在搞笑 藉著熱鬧 掩蓋著心跳
邊哭邊笑 偏要說著 一個人真好
當人群散了 突然覺得我可以死掉
我受不了

我在搞笑 卻在醉後 眼淚拼命飆
你的離開 失去多少 我計算不了
忙完了一天 突然覺得又何必辛勞
對誰炫耀？
還在搞笑 是否擁有 麻痺的療效
唱一夜歌 卻避不開 催淚的曲調
我徹夜胡鬧 希望聽到有人會提到 你好不好

What a lala dish

Yesterday wasn't sure what make him to be quite stress.. he began to start aiming cows to attack.. the poor 2 cows got hit is Janet and Victoria.
So make my effort to go NTUC AMK to see got his favourite food, lucky for me there is still lala in the store.Picking up those nice one and off i go with a pack of chilli too..

8 green chilli padi
5 red chilli padi
2 red chilli

Cause us to suffer like there is smoke bomb being throw into our home.. super hot where at the time you breathe in, you will automatically cough and cough..
The sauce is hot, the lala is hot but they still simply enjoying it (including me)

Our Saturday

Last weekend was out with WLNY Raymond, Lynn & Chris to shop and dinner. Went Suntec to had Pearl River dinner.. which was like rushing train.. with the food keep coming but get cold very fast too.. ( with special thanks to the aircon ) Got a bit piss off.. (actually more like scare) when I went Ladies before I was led to the seat.. so after I came out.. I was having difficulty to locate them.. *imagine you walking around each table trying to find them, hoping to see a hand wave* Nothing of such happen, in the end (clever me) approach one of the waitress to ask where they led the just came in customer to.. and finally I saw them.. the feeling is super scare.. (cos there is no phone with me, even wanna contact them also cannot) saw them busy ordering food as the last order is 9.15pm where we reach at 8.30pm.. Abit quarrel on the drinks as though the drinks is $5.00 per pax.. it is not my type of drink where I cannot possible drink it.. I was just requesting to change the drink and take away that.. even you left that on my table I will not even touch it.. cos I just not able to take the taste. Anyway end of story for that side track, commenting on Ray & Lynn, they really a small eater.. I guess on main course.. for dessert.. woohoo they can eat a lot.. haha.. not a bad partner to have them to eat buffet.. After that was actually planning to go for movie.. so good about I phone is that able to use apps to check movie timing.. using wifi of cos.. but while walking to the car, I suddenly think of going Marina Barrage where Lynn is much in interest too. So no movie and change to sight seeing with Ray be our Tour Guide of the night for the Marina Barrage where it is our first time there..

Photos uploaded..




The entrance .. something like a design??



While waiting of cos must zilian a while..

Me & Lynn

Nice night scenery.. isn't it..



Artist .. taken by Raymond

Sweet couple..

Situate at the top of the curve.. call Green Roof.. (if i did not remember wrongly)



... hide behind my face is the best option.. idiot

signing off with my own camwhoring photos..

Swimming

Outing was organize on last Tuesday which turn out Wednesday was a super tired day for everyone..
But I am glad that Janet improve her swimming (with the help of ours encouragement) which made her almost able to swim half a lap without stop over.. haha

Hope this could be a weekly outing, but hor.. why i keep hearing ppl say swimming will make oneself out of shape rather to keep fit and slim??

Does anyone have the true fact of swimming?

Some photos we took that day ..

The most Sporty xiao jie of the day.. imagine we went there right after work..

Patapon rocks!!

Oops Kanna caught playing and ignoring them

Where is me? *Hump* why am I being left out.. if not who take this photo lah..haha

Dear complaining and ask me not to over workout myself on swimming.. but the most hate it is yesterday went swimming with him without sunblock.. damn it.. I got tanner.. tmd.. it will took me a longer time to get back fairer.. tmd ..
But yesterday.. I feel he does not seem to have the mood to swimming.. intial was like kinda unhappy.. haiz.. I guess I should not have ask too much.. to make him tired too.. but lack of excerise is not good.. at the least I find myself more energetic nowadays

It really hurts..
I know I hurt him deeply.. as last night he saw a sms from ZH.. which he made an effort to ask can he see that sms.. which i turn him down.. I guess in the past he will not do that.. and the feeling is.. he does not dare to further provoke me.. I feel so bad.. and without letting him to see I guess his tots think wildly too.. or maybe I am too over confident of myself..

I dunno.. I try to sleep later to company him too.. but it seem I get so tired.. unable to continue this lifestyle for long.. excerise really make me feel better.. i began to like swimming.. and very looking forward the next one.. with him or colleagues ..
Indeed it is fun to swim with him... laughter a lots this few days.. I like it.. it began to recall those days we first started out.. and not the later part we began to get use of each other and began doing own things instead of spending time together.. How i wish the time and feeling can stop here..

I myself have fault too.. I cannot deny.. I lie a lot.. lots of lie from me.. i hate it.. I dunno why.. that hard to explain.. but it really gonna be a hard question to solve it..

一段感情建立在欺骗上，是没有幸福的

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

Over the weekend.. so much things happen again..
From quarrel until bursting out all my unhappiness until now.. I dunno how to describe our status now..

I can feel and see he is trying to change to fulfill and save the whole things.. I tried too. But I have been thinking is it worth doing it.. Saw his effort in spending more time with me (swimming, watch TV, etc..) but I know.. at home, playing/ facing the pc would be much more entertain than those..
I am wondering.. why am I asking so much.. it seem.. the two of us.. our life does not seem compatible at all, but I am simply sorry to say.. have to realise it after so long.. and after ROM.
Though I guess even without ROM, he will not be that willing to let go of this r/s too.

Would letting go be the best solution?
I dunno, I am not sure..

Carry on with this relationship?
I am not sure will we have a happy ever after

Afterall, I have been thinking too much of he does not love me anymore, but just more to himself only. I am thinking too much..

It hurt to see him sad because of this
It hurt to see him making changes to make it suit
It hurt to see him get thinner because of my willfulness

Recently I guess there is a lot of unhappiness things going on around my life..
My mom bad habit is really hard to get rid bah.. haiz.. but she found the wrong time to ask for that.. I am quite piss.. and fed up.. i tot finally she has quit and know how to think.. in the end..
haiz..

Remember I mention about the lost of my friend? We talk it out this 2 days and finally we talk out.. actually mostly her angry part of me.. which I truely agree with her.. I should have care of what she has tell me.. and kept it within me.. maybe I did not take in mind on the conversation, future got to take note on this..

It is a dreadful monday again
Super tired and sleepy, best of all I miss my alarm and so I did not take bus to work instead MRT .. consider thinking "what a great start of the day and week"

It is hard to behave nothing went wrong with him.. over the weekend (actually only sunday as he was back on Saturday @ 11pm, I pretend to be sleepy) I claims that i am not in the mood to go back his home and he say fine.. he will travel back to his home alone..
At that moment I dunno what I am thinking .. and maybe does not even know what I want.. I was like.. oh so he prefer me not to head home at all with him now..
Actually I guess he just trying to accommodate me as since i mention i do not wanna head back.. but why can't he insist .. to show that he need me for his companion home ..
It make me feel I am not and no longer needed..
I stay quiet the whole day.. moody.. but not showing any mood out.. even when my mom bought the food back home.. my sis make a remarks like " oh just now was your noodle that make the whole bus so stink.." I was like :s.. in the very end.. I did not finish the noodle not even 1/3 of it.. and imagine that was actually my first meal for the whole sunday which I had it @ 2pm.. lihai bah and I dun feel a bit of hunger at all..
I had my dinner alone.. without asking anyone eating.. i simply living in the own world where I take my own bowl and scoup the rice and sit outside the dinner table to eat..
Mom saw and stand up to eat with me too.. he just after that took rice and veg and walk into the room to eat.. I wanted to give up eating.. but no one to give my little rice to.. and have to force it down into my throat..

Monday was just have to be cheerful and not showing out all those trouble that I had to others in the office.. it is unfair to show/share to anyone my unhappiness .. they does not have the responsibility to have to take care of my trouble too.. right..

Still I hope to hide in the little cave of mine to sort my mind out..

I feel like proposing to be alone once again..

hiding in my little world of my own

Once again I am alone.. often I do think back.. am I consider a good gf and wife.. I guess logically what I present to others maybe yes.. but to him I guess I am not a faithful wife only.
Though I can cook, plans for the future, taking care of the family and kids.. but there is a problem with me.. I am playful which I cannot stay with 1 person for long or in fact.. those who know me.. I am scare of loneliness too.. to avoid being alone, I will always want attention when I needed that.. drawing lots and lots of attention from the person I care ..
Today I happen to be alone at home and was feeling super duper boring that I began to surf web like wlny and friendster.. I began to have those thinking .. when I began to realise.. him .. who use to put our sweet memories photos no longer does that.. where status was put unknown.. photos of me have disappear and even hope to meet someone much prettier than me (maybe) as it state.. pretty ger?
I truely agree that I did put my status unknown too but never have I will want to put our photos kept.. but now.. I have the urge (which in fact I have already done it) to keep those photos of ours.. away from the net.. made known to other..
I do not know what have happen.. all the things around me have change within a few days.. i have those feeling I lost a friend.. and I wonder I have actually long lost him too.. he no longer is the one in deep love with me.. I began to wonder.. why would he agree to get marry with me.. was it at that moment of time he is still in love with me which now.. he has already lost the love he had for me.. maybe i am asking toooooo much in Love.. letting me have friends but not him.. needing him to have care for me when I need it.. i guess i am really asking too much..
Even to that lost friend.. i felt deep lost.. it indeed greatly affect me on Friday.. I did not realise.. in my sub-mind.. I have quietly place this friend into my important list of ppl that I have care..
I have guess.. the teasing has gone too far..
Now I felt I have lost everything in the world that I care/ feel important to me..
Window is open widely.. should I just jump out of it..
nah .. I was just saying.. I not that kind who will do this kind.. I feel like.. giving up .. letting go of myself.. and.. just be baddie for once..

You have once again disappoint me.. ( indeed I guess I am, hate me all you can bah)

Second post of the week..
Guess this week is quite a fun week, if not I will not have so much thing to blog about bah..
Yesterday took cab with DD, YY, NN as YY have something on nearby our home so we get to share her cab back home.
So got on this citycab and we start chatting on gers topic and assuming the cab driver is a "malay", so all the conversation was in Chinese.. we talk about IPL, erm what we saw in swimming pool.. and .. shaving of "hair" haiz haiz haiz.. after chatting for 15 plus min.. we began to realise we totally ignore the driver.. which some of us began to realise he has a "chinese name" ... :s NN began to say.. eh we chat like we treat someone invisible here wor.. and the driver turn and say " I am a chinese, I know and understand chinese"
A min of awkward and 10 mins of laughter in the cab.. as we been laughing till tears flow out.. super paisei.. damn it..

Monday *red*
haha finally the every month worst worry is over.. but now is suffering from the pain.. I start to complain to him about why am I not pregnant , it is all his fault to make me not pregnant as I have to suffer the pain now.. the pain is unbearable loh.. lucky i was on leave today and tomorrow.. but ahem i got better things to do than lying on bed k.. so he said.. ok is that what you want? then I know what to do.. *oops* I was just joking and simply whining on the pain nothing else.. pls just ignore me..
haha

Went UniSim on saturday.. it is a total sadness for me.. which now i truely and really understand his disappointment when he could not get straight to degree that kind of feeling now.. it is not just to study again or imagination can be describe..
Due to no local dip or A level, i guess i will most probably be rejected by the school. Even though now how much I wish to get into SIM does not mind it is a 3 years course and the school fee.. i guess it is a no no answer to me already.. just waiting for the reject letter from them on May bah..
Though everyone in family is encouraging and giving me support i do appreciate it.
Once again family warmth is being felt deeply in my hear.

PS: Finally I have the courage and mood to tell him about how I felt.. with some tears flowing out of my cheeks.. it is a disgrace as i was outside, waiting for train at Somerset.. I am not sure does he know what i am saying.. but at least i did my part to open up isn't it?

Tracing back my memories

I should ask, does you all read back the post you have written over all this years?
I did.. I just did.. from Yr 2004 to Yr 2005 mid year.. I was reading what I have wrote.. from 2004 my cheerful posting which even affect me myself that I will smile while reading it too.. to 2005 unhappiness things happen one by one.. from friends BGR then work.. and I guess I now have the answer where has my smile gone to and what is happening to me already.
I guess.. I will not know how to solve it now.. and i does not know what I want..

But it is a refresh of the love I had with Chris and a refresh what had happen over all this year.. a good refreshment.

Chinese New Year Dinner with TVL

As per the header.. we did not had a Christmas Lunch so a dinner during CNY as compensation.
Quite rare as my boss is a Christian, he would more to celebrate Christmas than CNY.
Anyway sort of celebrate our final settle to the new office, also to support the Jap rest which is just downstair of our building..



While waiting for the time for the res. to open, we were slacking in our office.. Del Del and Yuyu sitting on the sofa.. and suddenly a thinking come up, they pretend to like "rape" the other party.. haha was quite funny .. haha



The Rest. when light up look quite impressive outside, anyway we went there is also becos citibank got 1 for 1 promotion, therefore 6 pax went is only for 3 pax price.



Overall, the first few dishes (sashimi, yakitori, shisamo) quite delicious, getting to the end, the food need a longer time to serve, and the service become abit slow. It could be due to more and more ppl come for the dinner bah.. but anyway, will go there if there another treat again, but will not self spend this kind of money as it does not quite worth the money.. to what I have feel.

Sidetrack
Have meet up with Victoria and Janet to go eat the steamboat at AMK, used to be a weekly outing in the past. Until we got quite sick of the food over there. Overall, it is not the food is nice that we went there but the food there is cheap and the company of friends we went with.


Anyway.. too off the track.. was taking the train when this bb car came in.. the bb is very playful with every stranger, and not to forget keep kicking Janet leg and seduce her with his little leg too.. (not intentionally lah)

Happy Belated Valentine Day

How is your Valentine day?
Hmm mine spending with movie of Red Cliff II and dinner at Yamagawa
My gift was a tub of Kimchi and a stalk of rose (by Yamagawa)

Took some photos.. shall upload once it is available.
Here the photos upload..


The Hong Kong cafe that we have went at PS is not a bad one too. Food wise is too near to our local style and miss the special favour of Hong Kong taste. If it could improve I guess will be more to the style of Hong Kong which I guess everyone will be thinking of that.. but those cold drinks serve in the metal cup is unique.. :)

And not to forget.. my tub of Kimchi haha


Jokes to think about
What would you do when you caught drinking soft drink?
Start counting number of eggs in the fridge when found by Amy
hahaha