Once again I am alone.. often I do think back.. am I consider a good gf and wife.. I guess logically what I present to others maybe yes.. but to him I guess I am not a faithful wife only.
Though I can cook, plans for the future, taking care of the family and kids.. but there is a problem with me.. I am playful which I cannot stay with 1 person for long or in fact.. those who know me.. I am scare of loneliness too.. to avoid being alone, I will always want attention when I needed that.. drawing lots and lots of attention from the person I care ..
Today I happen to be alone at home and was feeling super duper boring that I began to surf web like wlny and friendster.. I began to have those thinking .. when I began to realise.. him .. who use to put our sweet memories photos no longer does that.. where status was put unknown.. photos of me have disappear and even hope to meet someone much prettier than me (maybe) as it state.. pretty ger?
I truely agree that I did put my status unknown too but never have I will want to put our photos kept.. but now.. I have the urge (which in fact I have already done it) to keep those photos of ours.. away from the net.. made known to other..
I do not know what have happen.. all the things around me have change within a few days.. i have those feeling I lost a friend.. and I wonder I have actually long lost him too.. he no longer is the one in deep love with me.. I began to wonder.. why would he agree to get marry with me.. was it at that moment of time he is still in love with me which now.. he has already lost the love he had for me.. maybe i am asking toooooo much in Love.. letting me have friends but not him.. needing him to have care for me when I need it.. i guess i am really asking too much..
Even to that lost friend.. i felt deep lost.. it indeed greatly affect me on Friday.. I did not realise.. in my sub-mind.. I have quietly place this friend into my important list of ppl that I have care..
I have guess.. the teasing has gone too far..
Now I felt I have lost everything in the world that I care/ feel important to me..
Window is open widely.. should I just jump out of it..
nah .. I was just saying.. I not that kind who will do this kind.. I feel like.. giving up .. letting go of myself.. and.. just be baddie for once..

You have once again disappoint me.. ( indeed I guess I am, hate me all you can bah)