It really hurts..
I know I hurt him deeply.. as last night he saw a sms from ZH.. which he made an effort to ask can he see that sms.. which i turn him down.. I guess in the past he will not do that.. and the feeling is.. he does not dare to further provoke me.. I feel so bad.. and without letting him to see I guess his tots think wildly too.. or maybe I am too over confident of myself..

I dunno.. I try to sleep later to company him too.. but it seem I get so tired.. unable to continue this lifestyle for long.. excerise really make me feel better.. i began to like swimming.. and very looking forward the next one.. with him or colleagues ..
Indeed it is fun to swim with him... laughter a lots this few days.. I like it.. it began to recall those days we first started out.. and not the later part we began to get use of each other and began doing own things instead of spending time together.. How i wish the time and feeling can stop here..

I myself have fault too.. I cannot deny.. I lie a lot.. lots of lie from me.. i hate it.. I dunno why.. that hard to explain.. but it really gonna be a hard question to solve it..

一段感情建立在欺骗上，是没有幸福的