Well... so as the title state ... it has come to the last week of December and last week of the year 2004... so the next time i wrote my blog be on 2005 .. (*_*)
was still thinking what to buy for Louis... to have a deep impression of me?? haha just want him to remember me so that if one day we lost contact again... he have something in memory and maybe when he see the things will call me again? (^_^)...
So finally decide to do a cross stitch of pouch for him.. hmm.. but hor like not much use for him.. (you cannot expect him to bring a cute cute pouch out right) very funny right... so hmm maybe for him to kept at home bah.. sob... i going to lose sleep today just to do that... who ask me to last minute... haiz... never mind maybe find someone to chat with and do.. or else really damn sian.z..
New year eve be tomolo... planning to go MS to eat steamboat... but just 3 of us... but i hope to be able to meet Louis... so that i am able to pass him my present to him when the clock strike twelve... so romantic right? hmm... not sure whether can come true or not... i in fact not a romantic person.. but will have dreams.. at least this small dreams i can fullfill i will try to do it...
Yesterday got a shocking news.. haiz.. it involve me nia lah... but..haiz.. really i dun wish to get into relationship cos i am really scare... and i still keep dreaming of him.. like ytd night... i dream of him park his bike at my lift and was sitting by the stair... kinda ridiculous but... dream mah... and he sms me to talk... i was so shy and scare...
i dun understand why... this time i got so hurt and scare of relationship... so it be better not to hurt anyone now.. even giving them any hope.. cos i dunno what will happen in the future. Like i tell my bro... if have fate to be together even after a fews years sperate we be still able to get together so no need to think so much...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
KTV On 28/12/04
Tuesday night ... just after christmas and so still have the mood to enjoy although i know i should go back home to rest and sleep.. haha but well nowadays no matter how long i sleep it still not seem enough for me... i am still so tired... so i decide to go ktv since Jeremy say he want to go again...
I am feeling that Jeremy is so quiet when he come out... it is so different from the phone conversation Jeremy.. I dun understand why he like to keep quiet dun join in the fun with us and sit in a corner.. I try a lot of times to make him talk and cheer up it seem so hard... after a while he will go back to the quiet guy again... haha so i gave him a nick.. "zi bi zhen de xiao hai" wahahah :p
I really enjoy and so happy last night... it has been a long time i did not have those heart beating fast feeling leh.. and the best of all... i feel shy too... hahah erm.. well i mention b4.. i get to know back a frenz which lost contact for a fews years.. okay i shall call him by his inital "L" ... well he resemble "him" a lot alot... and it is so lucky he was having his off days ytd and a surprise he would call to meet me.. but why so late den call.. kinda miss him when he left the ktv... and as for my heart beat... haha dun tell you all what happen... but at least he respect me and we were like falling in love... hahaha but in real life are we really able to be in love?? (-_-)??
I read his profile in friendster again... more throughly .. i want to remember by heart what song he like and his feeling now... guess he is scared of love now.. and i dunno... what am i going to do... to forget a person is to get another one to forget the one you were suppose to forget.. so am i going to do that so that he be able to get over his ex.. it is really kinda sad to me when i saw his eyes fill with sadness when mention of his ex.. on the other side... i dunno whether am i able to make him happy for the lifetime... or will i made him sad too just like how others treat him.. i dun want that.. that why i dun dare to move forward...
Actually i have not really sms him for quite long.. since friday christmas bah... reason why i dun? haiz... normally took him a long time to reply.. and i always just sms those misses to him.. but guess he might think it is just my sweet talking and i still dunno do he like me or have feeling for me too or not.. so scared to get reject...and this friday... will be new year eve... and his birthday.. is on the next day 01/01/2005...very special right? still thinking what to buy for him..??? haha the most easy way is tied a ribbon on myself and present to him.. whaahhaha how i wish i could do that... but i really want to buy a gift that hope when he see it will think of me.. heehee a bit bad of me hor... but i am selfish dun forget... so i hope the one i like will think of me too.. ;p
Okay lah ... i shall stop here... wish me luck and hope everything turn out well for my frenz too... you know who i am talking about .. yes it is you all.. k... Take care (^_^)
I am feeling that Jeremy is so quiet when he come out... it is so different from the phone conversation Jeremy.. I dun understand why he like to keep quiet dun join in the fun with us and sit in a corner.. I try a lot of times to make him talk and cheer up it seem so hard... after a while he will go back to the quiet guy again... haha so i gave him a nick.. "zi bi zhen de xiao hai" wahahah :p
I really enjoy and so happy last night... it has been a long time i did not have those heart beating fast feeling leh.. and the best of all... i feel shy too... hahah erm.. well i mention b4.. i get to know back a frenz which lost contact for a fews years.. okay i shall call him by his inital "L" ... well he resemble "him" a lot alot... and it is so lucky he was having his off days ytd and a surprise he would call to meet me.. but why so late den call.. kinda miss him when he left the ktv... and as for my heart beat... haha dun tell you all what happen... but at least he respect me and we were like falling in love... hahaha but in real life are we really able to be in love?? (-_-)??
I read his profile in friendster again... more throughly .. i want to remember by heart what song he like and his feeling now... guess he is scared of love now.. and i dunno... what am i going to do... to forget a person is to get another one to forget the one you were suppose to forget.. so am i going to do that so that he be able to get over his ex.. it is really kinda sad to me when i saw his eyes fill with sadness when mention of his ex.. on the other side... i dunno whether am i able to make him happy for the lifetime... or will i made him sad too just like how others treat him.. i dun want that.. that why i dun dare to move forward...
Actually i have not really sms him for quite long.. since friday christmas bah... reason why i dun? haiz... normally took him a long time to reply.. and i always just sms those misses to him.. but guess he might think it is just my sweet talking and i still dunno do he like me or have feeling for me too or not.. so scared to get reject...and this friday... will be new year eve... and his birthday.. is on the next day 01/01/2005...very special right? still thinking what to buy for him..??? haha the most easy way is tied a ribbon on myself and present to him.. whaahhaha how i wish i could do that... but i really want to buy a gift that hope when he see it will think of me.. heehee a bit bad of me hor... but i am selfish dun forget... so i hope the one i like will think of me too.. ;p
Okay lah ... i shall stop here... wish me luck and hope everything turn out well for my frenz too... you know who i am talking about .. yes it is you all.. k... Take care (^_^)
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
My Christmas Celebration
Friday 24/12/2004
Christmas Eve.. hmm not bad first time went to those christmas party.. very fun wor.. a bit of homly feeling .. ppl there are so friendly even you dun chat with them they will auto approach... after that was went to frenz place.. hmm really enjoy dancing... haha jasper say what me and nerd dance was dirty dancing... ahah yah agree but... simply fun loh... well jass dun you enjoy looking too? wahahah after that they came to my home to "play mahjong" haha in the end was to sleepp... really too tired.. and stress of work... that night i admit.. i drink quite alot as i am not a good drinker too...
Christmas Day.. a beri bad incident happen... Grace phone was stolen and we are unable to find it.. the worse thing is.. she lost it at my home... really sad about it... and more worse ... someone told me about his suspect.. but i strongly believe it is not him no ...
Well overall for my four days holiday... i dun really enjoy much.. kinda sad and like too many unexpected happen and it add on to my burden... till now i still cannot forget things.. things that i hope to forget...-_-
That night on sunday, we went to play pool.. wahhaha finally able to win my kor.. heehee getting better ... just lack of practice... and we took 147 home.. i know it will stop at "His" home... well as usual even looking to his home.. i just cannot help to feel sad and almost cry out loud.. got those feeling just to sit down and cry hard and loud.. have been suppressing it inside for a long long time... i miss him... whenever i miss i will look at louis photo... cos he dun like to take hp photo but louis got the feeling of him...
Christmas Eve.. hmm not bad first time went to those christmas party.. very fun wor.. a bit of homly feeling .. ppl there are so friendly even you dun chat with them they will auto approach... after that was went to frenz place.. hmm really enjoy dancing... haha jasper say what me and nerd dance was dirty dancing... ahah yah agree but... simply fun loh... well jass dun you enjoy looking too? wahahah after that they came to my home to "play mahjong" haha in the end was to sleepp... really too tired.. and stress of work... that night i admit.. i drink quite alot as i am not a good drinker too...
Christmas Day.. a beri bad incident happen... Grace phone was stolen and we are unable to find it.. the worse thing is.. she lost it at my home... really sad about it... and more worse ... someone told me about his suspect.. but i strongly believe it is not him no ...
Well overall for my four days holiday... i dun really enjoy much.. kinda sad and like too many unexpected happen and it add on to my burden... till now i still cannot forget things.. things that i hope to forget...-_-
That night on sunday, we went to play pool.. wahhaha finally able to win my kor.. heehee getting better ... just lack of practice... and we took 147 home.. i know it will stop at "His" home... well as usual even looking to his home.. i just cannot help to feel sad and almost cry out loud.. got those feeling just to sit down and cry hard and loud.. have been suppressing it inside for a long long time... i miss him... whenever i miss i will look at louis photo... cos he dun like to take hp photo but louis got the feeling of him...
Friday, December 24, 2004
Not In Good Mood..
It all started guess.. yesterday ba... sense the atmosphere in the admin dept. not really right... but did not guess much so just simply push it off my mind.. but today the atmoshpere is more worse.. (KE) was not talking to me obivously... well why i know? cos it happen once on me liao just becos of a stupid toothbrush... and now.. i dunno what is the real reason behind but i guess it should be something becos of (JS) and the backstabber in office..(i shall not name out who)
Kinda sad that (JS) is leaving, but in my point of view i am not in wrong.. not me who ask her to leave.. i feel she really not suit in this job.. and a bit absentminded... I can say everyone could not take it anymore , run out of patient... but why me is the one who got all this... hey i am the one who teach her in the first place and and i got the anger first but sallow it inside my heart.. only after a fews days i really could not take it so i sought help from them... what the F***
Well whatever it is ... even though i say i am not affect by her is all cheating myself... cos i do treat her as good frenz.. but well nothing i can do if she does not want to talk to me.. i just kept my mouth shut from now on as there nothing to talk or tell her too.. different dept.. but began to think.. am i wrong to transfer dept? wrong to fight for better job?
Kinda sad that (JS) is leaving, but in my point of view i am not in wrong.. not me who ask her to leave.. i feel she really not suit in this job.. and a bit absentminded... I can say everyone could not take it anymore , run out of patient... but why me is the one who got all this... hey i am the one who teach her in the first place and and i got the anger first but sallow it inside my heart.. only after a fews days i really could not take it so i sought help from them... what the F***
Well whatever it is ... even though i say i am not affect by her is all cheating myself... cos i do treat her as good frenz.. but well nothing i can do if she does not want to talk to me.. i just kept my mouth shut from now on as there nothing to talk or tell her too.. different dept.. but began to think.. am i wrong to transfer dept? wrong to fight for better job?
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
How Should I Made You All Happy??
This is what i ask Ren about... well answer is he wish to go back to the past and live without worries.. well this is something i cannot make it happen cos i cannot turn back time and worries is just things that get involves with us when we grow up.. knowns as "the parts of growing up"
I dun like to see unhappiness in my frenz eyes cos.. sadness is not good... i try my best to be happy when i am with them.. not wanting them to worry for me.. but on the other way round "ni men ye yao xin fu wor" have happiness will have no sadness...
Yesterday night was chatting with Thomas... well told him what i was thinking and the problem now we are facing... well communication is something most couple will face when come to long term relationship bah.. sometime tend to mind so much what he/she say and in the end get angry or even quarrel...
He agree.. but i got a very bad habit wor.. while talking to him i was watching tv too.. so haha i did not catch some parts what he is telling me.. cos he is like mumbling too so in the end i chose to forget not to catch what he say liao, or he going to scold me.. ;p
Today have a urgent thingy happen... hmm.. trouble about it and thinking how to make the person happy... future things we will not know what will happen and do... we can only go through step by step but... if i know if walk this step i will get hurt i will not do it.. that is partly my reason why i dun wanna call "him" again... just standing far away to know he is alright and happy.. (although he is not happy [-_-] ) if i call i will a hurting answer so i rather run away.. and grief over those thing what i should not done...
Okay lah going off liao , hope everything will turn out well for "that person"...
I dun like to see unhappiness in my frenz eyes cos.. sadness is not good... i try my best to be happy when i am with them.. not wanting them to worry for me.. but on the other way round "ni men ye yao xin fu wor" have happiness will have no sadness...
Yesterday night was chatting with Thomas... well told him what i was thinking and the problem now we are facing... well communication is something most couple will face when come to long term relationship bah.. sometime tend to mind so much what he/she say and in the end get angry or even quarrel...
He agree.. but i got a very bad habit wor.. while talking to him i was watching tv too.. so haha i did not catch some parts what he is telling me.. cos he is like mumbling too so in the end i chose to forget not to catch what he say liao, or he going to scold me.. ;p
Today have a urgent thingy happen... hmm.. trouble about it and thinking how to make the person happy... future things we will not know what will happen and do... we can only go through step by step but... if i know if walk this step i will get hurt i will not do it.. that is partly my reason why i dun wanna call "him" again... just standing far away to know he is alright and happy.. (although he is not happy [-_-] ) if i call i will a hurting answer so i rather run away.. and grief over those thing what i should not done...
Okay lah going off liao , hope everything will turn out well for "that person"...
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Wild Wild Wet
heehee really a wild day... although ah ren left early and came meet us late.. haiz.. but after that rain at 4 plus made lots of ppl go off so the queue in the end was not that long..
Most enjoyable one incident i have? hmm will be the part i play "Scissor, Paper, Stone" keke (*_*) just a sudden mind of playing instead of waiting there and just talk...it was like go back to the old times ... me and nerd.. no worry, dun care about what others will think.. we play, we have fun... (^_^)
Funny incident? I have one too.. keke it is something about nerd.. we open up our locker to get wallet to buy food to munch while waiting for the rain to stop and so after that we got 2 gold coins to put our thingy back to the locker... she went off first and i was behind her.. the funny thing is when i go meet her back at the locker place.. i could not see her.. i thought she went to have her thing put in locker wihout me?! wahahah in the end... she went into the gents changing room by mistake.. me and jass was laughing till we drop... kekek....
Sadness only came when we were on our way back to nerd home... "jie kou" is the song best describe what feeling i have now for him.. i began to recall the times i have with "him" and the day i met the one who look alike with "him" ... why he can be so good and smile sweet to me.. and "him" after that incident was not like him... i seem to have a mix pictures of him and "him" ..... tears drop, heart break but i still wish he could have the best of him now... (T.T)
Most enjoyable one incident i have? hmm will be the part i play "Scissor, Paper, Stone" keke (*_*) just a sudden mind of playing instead of waiting there and just talk...it was like go back to the old times ... me and nerd.. no worry, dun care about what others will think.. we play, we have fun... (^_^)
Funny incident? I have one too.. keke it is something about nerd.. we open up our locker to get wallet to buy food to munch while waiting for the rain to stop and so after that we got 2 gold coins to put our thingy back to the locker... she went off first and i was behind her.. the funny thing is when i go meet her back at the locker place.. i could not see her.. i thought she went to have her thing put in locker wihout me?! wahahah in the end... she went into the gents changing room by mistake.. me and jass was laughing till we drop... kekek....
Sadness only came when we were on our way back to nerd home... "jie kou" is the song best describe what feeling i have now for him.. i began to recall the times i have with "him" and the day i met the one who look alike with "him" ... why he can be so good and smile sweet to me.. and "him" after that incident was not like him... i seem to have a mix pictures of him and "him" ..... tears drop, heart break but i still wish he could have the best of him now... (T.T)
Saturday, December 18, 2004
I found someone like him...
Pink Pink Pink..
haha kinda cute it is not on purpose but just finally able to fit myself into that pink top which i have bought it long ago.. and just so happen i went to shop for my office christmas gift, i got a pink carrier.. and the most cute cute thingy is.. it was raining when i am on my way to meet nerd.. and i had my pink umbrella in office so another pinky...
17/12/04 Friday 6.15pm
The first look of him, reminds me of "him" ... (-_-)
He was wearing white shirt and blue jeans.. what caught my eyes is his eyes with blue contact lens... haiz... mixed feeling.. i know it is not right to think he is "him" ... although i keep looking at him that night.. and kinda "se bu de" when he is leaving for home.. i know who he is.. it just that the whole night i am like those little gals who saw someone they admire and keep looking at them and laugh for nothing... (*_^)
A long time i dun have this kind of feeling already... Those happy feeling and wishes to get home fast to talk to him, those in love feeling even though me and him just frenz... but... haiz... something are not meant to be said...
haha kinda cute it is not on purpose but just finally able to fit myself into that pink top which i have bought it long ago.. and just so happen i went to shop for my office christmas gift, i got a pink carrier.. and the most cute cute thingy is.. it was raining when i am on my way to meet nerd.. and i had my pink umbrella in office so another pinky...
17/12/04 Friday 6.15pm
The first look of him, reminds me of "him" ... (-_-)
He was wearing white shirt and blue jeans.. what caught my eyes is his eyes with blue contact lens... haiz... mixed feeling.. i know it is not right to think he is "him" ... although i keep looking at him that night.. and kinda "se bu de" when he is leaving for home.. i know who he is.. it just that the whole night i am like those little gals who saw someone they admire and keep looking at them and laugh for nothing... (*_^)
A long time i dun have this kind of feeling already... Those happy feeling and wishes to get home fast to talk to him, those in love feeling even though me and him just frenz... but... haiz... something are not meant to be said...
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tired & Sleepy Mode.. Zzz...
Wednesday liao... getting very tired this week again.. due to? Study and work.. think i am still not use to the timing of sleeping late... today very stone...
Lunch time i have a lot of mixed feeling...
Went out with my two guys to buy lunch.. when get into the car we were listening to FM93.3 (Music Diary) today story was about a gal who are not able to forget her first love and get into another new relationship. The new relationship last for almost two years but during the times there are quarrel and fights... but she knew this guy like her a lot and care for her... what touches me is.. she have the same thinking as me, just wanted to find a guy who cares and concern to her maybe after that get married with him and bear two cute children... ( that was once my dreams too) (-_-)
Think you all will think the story will stop here.. no.. the gal broke off with the second guy and went back to the first love eventually.. but one good thing is she still find that that guy is her "zui ai" and who she really really wants to spend her lifetime with him... it just that they know in the wrong time but one lucky thing is she still manage to find out what her hearts want... and just in time b4 she get to a wrong guy...
I agree not everyone will be able to be like her to live till the end of time with the one you really love... but after i listen to this story.. i feel like crying and a moment of touch... and in my mind all the while flashing with a guy... a guy who always be behind me to protect and love me with all his might... I know how much he stand in my heart.. a lot alot.. but things that happen around me recently make me drop the idea to say all out to him.. and so i always hurting him with my words... i am sorry ... *sob*....
So when i get back to my office... i pick my phone up to sms him... to tell him i love him a lot and i treasure him a lot... Let pray hard to see what the future will happen and hope i could be like the lady ... to be able to live till old with my "zui ai"
Lunch time i have a lot of mixed feeling...
Went out with my two guys to buy lunch.. when get into the car we were listening to FM93.3 (Music Diary) today story was about a gal who are not able to forget her first love and get into another new relationship. The new relationship last for almost two years but during the times there are quarrel and fights... but she knew this guy like her a lot and care for her... what touches me is.. she have the same thinking as me, just wanted to find a guy who cares and concern to her maybe after that get married with him and bear two cute children... ( that was once my dreams too) (-_-)
Think you all will think the story will stop here.. no.. the gal broke off with the second guy and went back to the first love eventually.. but one good thing is she still find that that guy is her "zui ai" and who she really really wants to spend her lifetime with him... it just that they know in the wrong time but one lucky thing is she still manage to find out what her hearts want... and just in time b4 she get to a wrong guy...
I agree not everyone will be able to be like her to live till the end of time with the one you really love... but after i listen to this story.. i feel like crying and a moment of touch... and in my mind all the while flashing with a guy... a guy who always be behind me to protect and love me with all his might... I know how much he stand in my heart.. a lot alot.. but things that happen around me recently make me drop the idea to say all out to him.. and so i always hurting him with my words... i am sorry ... *sob*....
So when i get back to my office... i pick my phone up to sms him... to tell him i love him a lot and i treasure him a lot... Let pray hard to see what the future will happen and hope i could be like the lady ... to be able to live till old with my "zui ai"
My Favourite Song Now...
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Tuesday, December 14, 2004
So.. I will be jealous too....(^_*)
erm... so now i understand what i am feeling liao.... it all started on saturday DB outing with Thomas and his office ppl...
Well firstly i feel so "zhi bei", his all gals frenz are all so pretty and me.. haiz.. cannot compare... and his C & C towards gals.. let me for the first time really get jealous into my head... what he did was to hold the gals... touch their waist and you know lah.. during clubbing cannot hear mah.. so get close but so what i am jealous about all this things?? just a frenz mahz... i cannot control ...i tell him about it he say he know what he is doing and did not do those on purpose to take advantage of gals, i know but why last time when i say those he say No but he can? And so in the end my poor bro is the one who got use by me to spite him... whahaah sorry bro... i know i take advantage of you.. but... i can't help it....
So tired on Sunday... wanted to go out to play pool but it is like so tiring so in the end drop the idea... and stay home do housework and watch vcd (Duo Yu)...
Duo Yu (Fighting Fish, or The Outsider)
Just started to watch the part II of Duo Yu.. not really that nice like the first one..i cry for the last two disc of the part I cos the ending really not good... so sad.. make me waste so much tears on it.. haha overall the ending end like in a rush.. and so i hope the part II will not turn out this way too... hmm... hope Xiao Yanzi and Yu Hao be together.. really a perfect match.. two person trying so hard to be together...when they are in love... heehee
Well firstly i feel so "zhi bei", his all gals frenz are all so pretty and me.. haiz.. cannot compare... and his C & C towards gals.. let me for the first time really get jealous into my head... what he did was to hold the gals... touch their waist and you know lah.. during clubbing cannot hear mah.. so get close but so what i am jealous about all this things?? just a frenz mahz... i cannot control ...i tell him about it he say he know what he is doing and did not do those on purpose to take advantage of gals, i know but why last time when i say those he say No but he can? And so in the end my poor bro is the one who got use by me to spite him... whahaah sorry bro... i know i take advantage of you.. but... i can't help it....
So tired on Sunday... wanted to go out to play pool but it is like so tiring so in the end drop the idea... and stay home do housework and watch vcd (Duo Yu)...
Duo Yu (Fighting Fish, or The Outsider)
Just started to watch the part II of Duo Yu.. not really that nice like the first one..i cry for the last two disc of the part I cos the ending really not good... so sad.. make me waste so much tears on it.. haha overall the ending end like in a rush.. and so i hope the part II will not turn out this way too... hmm... hope Xiao Yanzi and Yu Hao be together.. really a perfect match.. two person trying so hard to be together...when they are in love... heehee
Friday, December 10, 2004
Moody Dayz..
Yesterday is still okay... last night i was like out of my mind to rush down from wake to PS to BBoss just to pass my frenz my discount voucher... after went to play aracade... always cannot play good... nerd is always play so well.. haha i must train hard to beat her whahaha...
He message me today... what should i do? Should i reply? I am confused by his nick.. worry something might have happen to him... but i cannot do anything... i am useless not able to control my feeling and will be affected by him so easily... but i am tired to try.. sometime i just hope i can just find a guy who like me and i be with him.. so that i will not think of him.. but this is unfair.. unfair to the one who like me and unfair to my heart...
What should i do.....
Guess my rest of the days be very very moody.... *sob*
He message me today... what should i do? Should i reply? I am confused by his nick.. worry something might have happen to him... but i cannot do anything... i am useless not able to control my feeling and will be affected by him so easily... but i am tired to try.. sometime i just hope i can just find a guy who like me and i be with him.. so that i will not think of him.. but this is unfair.. unfair to the one who like me and unfair to my heart...
What should i do.....
Guess my rest of the days be very very moody.... *sob*
Thursday, December 09, 2004
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To ****,
Happy Birthday To You...
This song was suppose to sing to someone who be celebrating his birthday today.. guess i will not get a chance to sing it to him or even to tell him in face a sentance Happy Birthday... or what i have think for so long... I am sorry to say those words.. i regret.. but no turning back now... I hope he be happy and i will try to make myself to forget what had happen between us.. just hope one day i be able to see him on road riding his bike pass by me.. although this is not really will possible will happen... anyway.. all the best to you... lex.....
Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To ****,
Happy Birthday To You...
This song was suppose to sing to someone who be celebrating his birthday today.. guess i will not get a chance to sing it to him or even to tell him in face a sentance Happy Birthday... or what i have think for so long... I am sorry to say those words.. i regret.. but no turning back now... I hope he be happy and i will try to make myself to forget what had happen between us.. just hope one day i be able to see him on road riding his bike pass by me.. although this is not really will possible will happen... anyway.. all the best to you... lex.....
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
My Feelings
jay Zhou.. Jie Kou
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Hanyupinyin:
fan zhe wo men de zhao pian
xiang nian ruo yin ruo xian
qu nian de dong tian
wo men xiao de hen tian
kan zhe ni ku qi de lian
dui zhe wo shuo zai jian
lai bu ji ting jian
ni yi zou de hen yuan
ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo
ye xu yi jing hen nan hui tou
wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo
qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo
jiu suan shi wo bu dong
neng bu neng yuan liang wo
qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu
wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou shi ni shou shang de jie kou
qing ni hui tou
wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou
jiu suan mei you jie guo
wo ye neng gou cheng shou
wo zhi dao ni de tong
shi wo gei de cheng nuo
ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong
chen mo shi yin wei bao rong
ru guo yao zou
qing ni ji de wo
ru guo nan guo
qing ni wang liao wo
Below is the meaning of the lyric of the above song..
Flipping through our photographs
Missing you is half hidden,
half seenThe winter of last year
We smiled very sweetly
Looking at your weeping face
Saying goodbye to me
Too late to hear it
You've already gone very far away
Perhaps you have already given up on me
Perhaps it is already too hard to turn back
I know it is me who let it slip
Please give me another reason to say you don't love me
Even if it is that I don't understand
Can you forgive me?
Please don't take separation and treat it as your request
I know the persistence to leave is your excuse for getting hurt
Request you to turn backI will walk with you all along till the end
Even if there is no resultI can bear itI know your pain
Is the promise I gave
You said you gave me tolerance before
Silence was because of forgiveness
If you have to leave
Request you to remember me
If you are sad
Request you to forget me
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Hanyupinyin:
fan zhe wo men de zhao pian
xiang nian ruo yin ruo xian
qu nian de dong tian
wo men xiao de hen tian
kan zhe ni ku qi de lian
dui zhe wo shuo zai jian
lai bu ji ting jian
ni yi zou de hen yuan
ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo
ye xu yi jing hen nan hui tou
wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo
qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo
jiu suan shi wo bu dong
neng bu neng yuan liang wo
qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu
wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou shi ni shou shang de jie kou
qing ni hui tou
wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou
jiu suan mei you jie guo
wo ye neng gou cheng shou
wo zhi dao ni de tong
shi wo gei de cheng nuo
ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong
chen mo shi yin wei bao rong
ru guo yao zou
qing ni ji de wo
ru guo nan guo
qing ni wang liao wo
Below is the meaning of the lyric of the above song..
Flipping through our photographs
Missing you is half hidden,
half seenThe winter of last year
We smiled very sweetly
Looking at your weeping face
Saying goodbye to me
Too late to hear it
You've already gone very far away
Perhaps you have already given up on me
Perhaps it is already too hard to turn back
I know it is me who let it slip
Please give me another reason to say you don't love me
Even if it is that I don't understand
Can you forgive me?
Please don't take separation and treat it as your request
I know the persistence to leave is your excuse for getting hurt
Request you to turn backI will walk with you all along till the end
Even if there is no resultI can bear itI know your pain
Is the promise I gave
You said you gave me tolerance before
Silence was because of forgiveness
If you have to leave
Request you to remember me
If you are sad
Request you to forget me
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
Monday Blue?? Not me bah..
Monday again... kinda sleepy but not due to monday blues... well so sian and stress but guess i have to lossen up a bit.. or else i be so tight with my work and my study...
Met a long time frenz on saturday.. well a surprise to see him and so sad he cannot recongise me.. keke maybe becos of my hair style and the cap i am wearing.. keke so happy.. Thomas and me went shopping with me b4 we went to Sunlight to sing k... finally bought the cap i have been looking for a long time.. heehee partly becos i am vain haha.. i saw the show "dou yu" and start to like that cap the lady actress is wearing all the time.. and so i got myself a pink colour one.. after trying a white and black..
Sunday was a boring day.. someone promise me to have dinner with me in the end due to some problem and have to cancel.. well i dun have the mood to eat too lah... stomach so pain.... haiz...
Met a long time frenz on saturday.. well a surprise to see him and so sad he cannot recongise me.. keke maybe becos of my hair style and the cap i am wearing.. keke so happy.. Thomas and me went shopping with me b4 we went to Sunlight to sing k... finally bought the cap i have been looking for a long time.. heehee partly becos i am vain haha.. i saw the show "dou yu" and start to like that cap the lady actress is wearing all the time.. and so i got myself a pink colour one.. after trying a white and black..
Sunday was a boring day.. someone promise me to have dinner with me in the end due to some problem and have to cancel.. well i dun have the mood to eat too lah... stomach so pain.... haiz...
Thursday, December 02, 2004
A new month.. (^_^)
A new month.. to refresh what had happen much in last month.. not really much the most enjoy is to go Sunset bay.. and heard from my bro.. keke might be going to Sunset Bay again on 11/12/04.. oh no.. this time really must apply a lot of sunblock or i will really turn malay.. keke like that no one like me liao.. haha...
I still remember the promise i made here.. to forget him within this month and get a new start life and relatioship in the next new year.. guess i might not able to do it.. i am so scare... I think of him today again... is it becos of another month.. i will start to think i have not recall him for a few weeks..
Have been single for two months plus.. really sometimes to find i am lonely not able to get a frenz to chat.. but t think back.. if i am not single i am not able to go out as i wish and go clubbing without worries i might made my guy worry and angry....
Okay shall stop here....
Sad Feeling ...
I still remember the promise i made here.. to forget him within this month and get a new start life and relatioship in the next new year.. guess i might not able to do it.. i am so scare... I think of him today again... is it becos of another month.. i will start to think i have not recall him for a few weeks..
Have been single for two months plus.. really sometimes to find i am lonely not able to get a frenz to chat.. but t think back.. if i am not single i am not able to go out as i wish and go clubbing without worries i might made my guy worry and angry....
Okay shall stop here....
Sad Feeling ...
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Sunset Bay, Volleyball
27/11/04
Yesterday went with frenz to sunset bay to absorb sunshine and do excerise... but sadly due to my lack of excersie.. now i got a whole body muscle ache.. ouch.. hardly able to sleep well on saturday too...
Finally the problem that my best frenz have is solve... hope she will succeed and will not soft-hearted to go back to him again.. ( i mean now lah) but think if really she cannot leave him.. i am not able to stop her too..hope the best for her....
28/11/04
Went to watch Shutter last night.. Sooo scary.. lucky got nerd sleeping beside me.. or i will cry man.. but in the end i still not enough sleep.. monday blue.. *yawnz*
okay got to go back to work... cya..
Yesterday went with frenz to sunset bay to absorb sunshine and do excerise... but sadly due to my lack of excersie.. now i got a whole body muscle ache.. ouch.. hardly able to sleep well on saturday too...
Finally the problem that my best frenz have is solve... hope she will succeed and will not soft-hearted to go back to him again.. ( i mean now lah) but think if really she cannot leave him.. i am not able to stop her too..hope the best for her....
28/11/04
Went to watch Shutter last night.. Sooo scary.. lucky got nerd sleeping beside me.. or i will cry man.. but in the end i still not enough sleep.. monday blue.. *yawnz*
okay got to go back to work... cya..
Friday, November 26, 2004
I am back from MIA..(Missing In Action)
Haha kinda shock by the title? no lah actually no MIA just simply dun have time alone in front of pc to write about my personal things.. well congragulate me first bah frenz.. i will be promote to Shipping Clerk from 01/12/04 onwards.. haha finally i am able to tell my frenz i am no more a small receptionist... but my "dai jia" is to go for further study and more OT than in the past..
Have not been to DB for two weeks liao.. bro when are you bringing me to DB or other fun places again.. well i know you very "fan" i am too so let enjoy loh.. keke but hor.. now then i know other than going out with frenz enjoy study can also made my mind not to think of something i should not be thinking about too... well thanks for my colleague who always been nagging to me to go further study and thanks to myself to decide to study Logistics.. now i find the course is something i am interested in.. and well hope i am able to fullfill what i promise to myself.. finish my cert. and proceed to Diploma... keke..
Okay let stop about the study things.. and talk about what happening around me recently... actually also not much.. only last saturday went with nerd and jasper to suntec to have lunch and i finally get to eat the "san shui ji" at "San Chong Liang Jian" well nothing that fantastic a feeling like the chicken rice chicken with lettuce nia.. haha.. but okay lah.. i like the soup there.. best of the best.. and that day.. i find even though i seldom meet nerd.. i miss her as how much she miss me too.. keke a bit thick skin but true wor.. she start to keep chatting with me of what had she done during the past week i was at Phuket and lots of other things.. and all this was all done on our journey to Suntec..
Okay. i shall stop here and i am looking forward to this saturday outing to sunset bay, hope will not spoilt by that "someone" and it be a sunshine day.. cya
Have not been to DB for two weeks liao.. bro when are you bringing me to DB or other fun places again.. well i know you very "fan" i am too so let enjoy loh.. keke but hor.. now then i know other than going out with frenz enjoy study can also made my mind not to think of something i should not be thinking about too... well thanks for my colleague who always been nagging to me to go further study and thanks to myself to decide to study Logistics.. now i find the course is something i am interested in.. and well hope i am able to fullfill what i promise to myself.. finish my cert. and proceed to Diploma... keke..
Okay let stop about the study things.. and talk about what happening around me recently... actually also not much.. only last saturday went with nerd and jasper to suntec to have lunch and i finally get to eat the "san shui ji" at "San Chong Liang Jian" well nothing that fantastic a feeling like the chicken rice chicken with lettuce nia.. haha.. but okay lah.. i like the soup there.. best of the best.. and that day.. i find even though i seldom meet nerd.. i miss her as how much she miss me too.. keke a bit thick skin but true wor.. she start to keep chatting with me of what had she done during the past week i was at Phuket and lots of other things.. and all this was all done on our journey to Suntec..
Okay. i shall stop here and i am looking forward to this saturday outing to sunset bay, hope will not spoilt by that "someone" and it be a sunshine day.. cya
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Wednesday, November 17, 2004
My feeling..kinda sad..
16/11/2004 - A day that shows I have already broke off with him for two months..(-_-) well my feeling and mood kinda down today.. guess is due to not enough sleep and guess part of it is becos i know.. "he" is attach...haiz.... just two months he has a new gf.. how envy of her now...
In the noon, i got to know another news..."Wee" have finally bought up the question .. haiz.. feeling kinda sad now.. i dunno why...
In the noon, i got to know another news..."Wee" have finally bought up the question .. haiz.. feeling kinda sad now.. i dunno why...
Back from Phuket 13-15/11/04
Well I am back from my trip ,Phuket? well got take some photo maybe when they load into pc i chose a few nice pic to put in here.. (^_^)
Day 1
Wake up very early to prepare to go airport.. keke and at least i got someone to send me off.. haha i would not write who he is.. guess it on your own bah.. when it is about time to leave to board the plan i got those feeling like i dun wish to go.. want to accomapany him more.. cos i dunno when we will lost contact again..
Got off the plane around 10 plus (Phuket time) and straight away we head to some wholesale shop to buy some of their local stuff.. after that was temple and then lunch... nothing much kinda sian at first cos was like getting on bus, getting off bus again...but while in the bus we saw PIGGIES haha whole lot of it think is preparing to get to the factory for slaughter bah.. haha (not me hor) and in the evening we were finally check into the hotel to refresh ourselves b4 we go for our night tour... (^_^).. Phuket Fantasea
Not bad for the show, mostly attract those who came to Phuket for the first time cos the show is always the same.. but it was my first time there.. quite magificent and the effect is good... but there is a part where it is dancing only got me to doze off on the chair since i am already have a long long day my eyes could not hold it anymore... keke and all the way back to hotel i was already Zzzzz.....
Day 2
Another day to wake up early in the morning
Went for breakfast and there we set off to Phi Phi Island... The island is so beautiful.... the water is clear and not polluted, you can even see those fishes swimming below.. and will have the feeling to jump into the water and catch them keke....
Day 3
Slept till very very late...
After breakfast we went to the beach for a walk b4 go back hotel to check out (*_*) a bit groggy after sleeping for too long... and after that we went shopping and massage... well and that the end...back to Singapore again... in sleepy mode (",)
Day 1
Wake up very early to prepare to go airport.. keke and at least i got someone to send me off.. haha i would not write who he is.. guess it on your own bah.. when it is about time to leave to board the plan i got those feeling like i dun wish to go.. want to accomapany him more.. cos i dunno when we will lost contact again..
Got off the plane around 10 plus (Phuket time) and straight away we head to some wholesale shop to buy some of their local stuff.. after that was temple and then lunch... nothing much kinda sian at first cos was like getting on bus, getting off bus again...but while in the bus we saw PIGGIES haha whole lot of it think is preparing to get to the factory for slaughter bah.. haha (not me hor) and in the evening we were finally check into the hotel to refresh ourselves b4 we go for our night tour... (^_^).. Phuket Fantasea
Not bad for the show, mostly attract those who came to Phuket for the first time cos the show is always the same.. but it was my first time there.. quite magificent and the effect is good... but there is a part where it is dancing only got me to doze off on the chair since i am already have a long long day my eyes could not hold it anymore... keke and all the way back to hotel i was already Zzzzz.....
Day 2
Another day to wake up early in the morning
Went for breakfast and there we set off to Phi Phi Island... The island is so beautiful.... the water is clear and not polluted, you can even see those fishes swimming below.. and will have the feeling to jump into the water and catch them keke....
Day 3
Slept till very very late...
After breakfast we went to the beach for a walk b4 go back hotel to check out (*_*) a bit groggy after sleeping for too long... and after that we went shopping and massage... well and that the end...back to Singapore again... in sleepy mode (",)
Saturday, November 13, 2004
Isolation Period...
Well i am back from Deepavali... ^_^ keke wednesday was a enjoyable night.. met up with KK, Jasper and news frenz from Jasper.. but btw Jasper, where is your gf?? hahaha...
um... quite enjoy that night.. although my dancing not good but who care.. everyone there is to enjoy themselve and all they do is drink, dance and know ppl...after that we even sit at starbuck to chat while jasper go throw up haha..
Be going oversea tomolo le... kinda not really looking forward... it dun seem like me at all.. i always like to go oversea and somemore with colleagues.. but well.. maybe i am unable to put down some ppl in sg bah.. haha sound like i am dying like that.. just a trip to Phuket be back on monday why my feeling so lost...
I had a bad dream this morning... very bad one.. when i wake up i almost broke into tears.. and till now i am still in a daze... thinking of the dream what it meant.. Do you believe in retribution? i guess i began to believe..
Well maybe i should go for isolation for some time liao.. recent got quite a lot of things happen around me.. although i feel happy to be out with my frenz guess it might be time to go alone... know new frenz.. think over my way of treating frenz regardless of guy or ger frenz am i treating them good enough...
Okay lah shall write again when i come back from the trip.. that will be on Tuesday.. guys out there dun miss me too much k...
um... quite enjoy that night.. although my dancing not good but who care.. everyone there is to enjoy themselve and all they do is drink, dance and know ppl...after that we even sit at starbuck to chat while jasper go throw up haha..
Be going oversea tomolo le... kinda not really looking forward... it dun seem like me at all.. i always like to go oversea and somemore with colleagues.. but well.. maybe i am unable to put down some ppl in sg bah.. haha sound like i am dying like that.. just a trip to Phuket be back on monday why my feeling so lost...
I had a bad dream this morning... very bad one.. when i wake up i almost broke into tears.. and till now i am still in a daze... thinking of the dream what it meant.. Do you believe in retribution? i guess i began to believe..
Well maybe i should go for isolation for some time liao.. recent got quite a lot of things happen around me.. although i feel happy to be out with my frenz guess it might be time to go alone... know new frenz.. think over my way of treating frenz regardless of guy or ger frenz am i treating them good enough...
Okay lah shall write again when i come back from the trip.. that will be on Tuesday.. guys out there dun miss me too much k...
Thursday, November 11, 2004
Hoilday Tomolo... I can see the sun coming out (^_^)
Yeh.. tomolo Deepavali no work.. and one good news is Thomas be back tomolo morning (",) so i be going to the airport to fetch him.. haha not intending to sleep liao.. 7 am got to reach leh... and well back from the clinic.. test outcome not back will have to see this fews days.. and as plan go ahead for the Phuket trip.. (although I dun feel like going.. why ah? well long holiday in SIN i might able to accompany a lot of ppl... and my sunset bay "pao tang le"... never mind i will arrange on 27/11/04)
How is your day??
.......... My morning was not a good one. While on my way to work, my shoe broke lucky is already near my office or else.. haiz.. really dunno how to work.. and lucky i manage to get my frenz to send me back later too.. (^_^)
Tonight going DB.. haha began to like that place.. to drink, to dance and to enjoy with frenz... two weeks no go liao.. going to dance till mad.. anyway no sleep mah.. and so i be not able to write blog tomolo due to no pc at home.. haiz.. will write a long long one on friday if there is any funny thing happen in DB or tomolo.. (*_*) so cya tata..
How is your day??
.......... My morning was not a good one. While on my way to work, my shoe broke lucky is already near my office or else.. haiz.. really dunno how to work.. and lucky i manage to get my frenz to send me back later too.. (^_^)
Tonight going DB.. haha began to like that place.. to drink, to dance and to enjoy with frenz... two weeks no go liao.. going to dance till mad.. anyway no sleep mah.. and so i be not able to write blog tomolo due to no pc at home.. haiz.. will write a long long one on friday if there is any funny thing happen in DB or tomolo.. (*_*) so cya tata..
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
So sad
Haiz... today i am early to write a blog.. maybe i cannot tolerate anymore bah... I cry again yesterday night.. (T.T) well i think i saw "him" riding his bike pass me..and sadly there is a gal behind.... haiz.. i hope i see wrongly but well i cannot ask him.. i can only think on my own ... was it him... ??? or was it not?? I think i will not have the answer but it is just kinda heartbreaking... my heart was in pain since last night.. *sob sob* those tears just fall when i look at the white helmet thinking of all the past i have with "him".. The first meeting is at J8 but he had wait for me at the ESSO station just outside my office.. and the most comical thing is i brought an umbrella with me (xiao huang) keke and till the later part when i am with him den i know he was attracted to me becos of my xiao huang..
Today my condition is getting worse.. although now doctor say it is not appendix.. i feel the pain all over my body since this morning.. and my appetite seem getting worse.. no feeling to eat.. in fact after forcing myself finish that bowl of noodle i feel like throwing out back to the bowl... Can a better doctor tell me what is happening to me??
Very tired.. tired to have so many burden on me.. tired to worry for my frenz which in the end they dun even listen to my advice.. i hope she will not chose the wrong way... well what can i say much.. i am a flirt in the past.. what stand can i talk about love? I have only been sad once how would i know about how sad a guy could be when his loved one broke off with him.. I try to stand in the guys position to think for my frenz.. but i find no reason i could persuade myself to believe my frenz decision is right.. (just becos scare to hurt the other party) haha.. well ..........
Okay i shall stop here.. i hope tomolo will be a better day and mood and i will try to write down all about the time i have spend with "him" cya...
Today my condition is getting worse.. although now doctor say it is not appendix.. i feel the pain all over my body since this morning.. and my appetite seem getting worse.. no feeling to eat.. in fact after forcing myself finish that bowl of noodle i feel like throwing out back to the bowl... Can a better doctor tell me what is happening to me??
Very tired.. tired to have so many burden on me.. tired to worry for my frenz which in the end they dun even listen to my advice.. i hope she will not chose the wrong way... well what can i say much.. i am a flirt in the past.. what stand can i talk about love? I have only been sad once how would i know about how sad a guy could be when his loved one broke off with him.. I try to stand in the guys position to think for my frenz.. but i find no reason i could persuade myself to believe my frenz decision is right.. (just becos scare to hurt the other party) haha.. well ..........
Okay i shall stop here.. i hope tomolo will be a better day and mood and i will try to write down all about the time i have spend with "him" cya...
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
It is still so pain to me...
Well I have been asking myself recently.. is physical pain more painful than heart pain?
Haha i did not have the answer till now.. although i feel physical pain more painful now.. whenever i passby his house i just cannot stop myself from turning to look there.. the first time i saw his bike.. second time saw him in front of his com... even though i know i cannot talk to even or even to tell him i was admitted to hospital and wanted so much he could visit me... but seeing him from far made me at least happy to know he is alright...
I got ask by my frenz yesterday night.. do I still love him? I dun have an answer.. Do I? I feel sad everytime i think of him.. I wish those thing did not happen and my mind did not run wild last time... and all these unhappiness will not happen and i be still happily be with him... i find he is the best.. no one can be compare with him.. (how i wish he know) i never compare him with others.. i just feel he is the best...
Time flies past so fast... this coming weekend be going Phuket.. but haiz.. guess the trip with my company got to cancel.. still so unsure my condition is appendix or it is just a normal stomach upset.. but everday i will have pain.. and my face seem to turn pale when i am in pain... (told by my frenz) I guess my planning to tolerate the pain till back from the trip going to be waste... haiz.. so scare of operation.. so scare i might not able to see him again... haha i think i am worrying too much .. just a small op mah hor..
Okay lah, i should stop here to prepare to go home.. cya tomolo (*_*)
Haha i did not have the answer till now.. although i feel physical pain more painful now.. whenever i passby his house i just cannot stop myself from turning to look there.. the first time i saw his bike.. second time saw him in front of his com... even though i know i cannot talk to even or even to tell him i was admitted to hospital and wanted so much he could visit me... but seeing him from far made me at least happy to know he is alright...
I got ask by my frenz yesterday night.. do I still love him? I dun have an answer.. Do I? I feel sad everytime i think of him.. I wish those thing did not happen and my mind did not run wild last time... and all these unhappiness will not happen and i be still happily be with him... i find he is the best.. no one can be compare with him.. (how i wish he know) i never compare him with others.. i just feel he is the best...
Time flies past so fast... this coming weekend be going Phuket.. but haiz.. guess the trip with my company got to cancel.. still so unsure my condition is appendix or it is just a normal stomach upset.. but everday i will have pain.. and my face seem to turn pale when i am in pain... (told by my frenz) I guess my planning to tolerate the pain till back from the trip going to be waste... haiz.. so scare of operation.. so scare i might not able to see him again... haha i think i am worrying too much .. just a small op mah hor..
Okay lah, i should stop here to prepare to go home.. cya tomolo (*_*)
Friday, November 05, 2004
I promise to treasure Food & Drink
Finally got out of hospital and today straight away went back to office to start my work.. kaoz.. so many work pile in my tray and got to finish all by today or else next week my boss be back will be more busy as only four working days next week.. and during my busy friday i still manage to take out some time to create a blog of my own.. hope to share my feelings and thinking with all the frenz here.. ^_^
Haha after not eaten for three days.. began to cherish the time i be able to eat and drink.. what the cause of my sick i still not clear... everyday till now i still feel the pain.. i hope to tolerate after the trip den go for the op.. haha.. better not start to pain when i am in phuket...
Okay this is roughly my intro first going back soon.. cya again.. (",) tata
Haha after not eaten for three days.. began to cherish the time i be able to eat and drink.. what the cause of my sick i still not clear... everyday till now i still feel the pain.. i hope to tolerate after the trip den go for the op.. haha.. better not start to pain when i am in phuket...
Okay this is roughly my intro first going back soon.. cya again.. (",) tata
