Friday, December 31, 2004

It is Thu liao... last thursday of 2004

Well... so as the title state ... it has come to the last week of December and last week of the year 2004... so the next time i wrote my blog be on 2005 .. (*_*)

was still thinking what to buy for Louis... to have a deep impression of me?? haha just want him to remember me so that if one day we lost contact again... he have something in memory and maybe when he see the things will call me again? (^_^)...

So finally decide to do a cross stitch of pouch for him.. hmm.. but hor like not much use for him.. (you cannot expect him to bring a cute cute pouch out right) very funny right... so hmm maybe for him to kept at home bah.. sob... i going to lose sleep today just to do that... who ask me to last minute... haiz... never mind maybe find someone to chat with and do.. or else really damn sian.z..

New year eve be tomolo... planning to go MS to eat steamboat... but just 3 of us... but i hope to be able to meet Louis... so that i am able to pass him my present to him when the clock strike twelve... so romantic right? hmm... not sure whether can come true or not... i in fact not a romantic person.. but will have dreams.. at least this small dreams i can fullfill i will try to do it...

Yesterday got a shocking news.. haiz.. it involve me nia lah... but..haiz.. really i dun wish to get into relationship cos i am really scare... and i still keep dreaming of him.. like ytd night... i dream of him park his bike at my lift and was sitting by the stair... kinda ridiculous but... dream mah... and he sms me to talk... i was so shy and scare...

i dun understand why... this time i got so hurt and scare of relationship... so it be better not to hurt anyone now.. even giving them any hope.. cos i dunno what will happen in the future. Like i tell my bro... if have fate to be together even after a fews years sperate we be still able to get together so no need to think so much...

Thursday, December 30, 2004


Me & Louis (*_^) Posted by Hello

Photo Taken on 28/12/2004, @ amk kbox... was trying to take a lot of photo.. this is consider the best of the best photo...

KTV On 28/12/04

Tuesday night ... just after christmas and so still have the mood to enjoy although i know i should go back home to rest and sleep.. haha but well nowadays no matter how long i sleep it still not seem enough for me... i am still so tired... so i decide to go ktv since Jeremy say he want to go again...

I am feeling that Jeremy is so quiet when he come out... it is so different from the phone conversation Jeremy.. I dun understand why he like to keep quiet dun join in the fun with us and sit in a corner.. I try a lot of times to make him talk and cheer up it seem so hard... after a while he will go back to the quiet guy again... haha so i gave him a nick.. "zi bi zhen de xiao hai" wahahah :p

I really enjoy and so happy last night... it has been a long time i did not have those heart beating fast feeling leh.. and the best of all... i feel shy too... hahah erm.. well i mention b4.. i get to know back a frenz which lost contact for a fews years.. okay i shall call him by his inital "L" ... well he resemble "him" a lot alot... and it is so lucky he was having his off days ytd and a surprise he would call to meet me.. but why so late den call.. kinda miss him when he left the ktv... and as for my heart beat... haha dun tell you all what happen... but at least he respect me and we were like falling in love... hahaha but in real life are we really able to be in love?? (-_-)??

I read his profile in friendster again... more throughly .. i want to remember by heart what song he like and his feeling now... guess he is scared of love now.. and i dunno... what am i going to do... to forget a person is to get another one to forget the one you were suppose to forget.. so am i going to do that so that he be able to get over his ex.. it is really kinda sad to me when i saw his eyes fill with sadness when mention of his ex.. on the other side... i dunno whether am i able to make him happy for the lifetime... or will i made him sad too just like how others treat him.. i dun want that.. that why i dun dare to move forward...

Actually i have not really sms him for quite long.. since friday christmas bah... reason why i dun? haiz... normally took him a long time to reply.. and i always just sms those misses to him.. but guess he might think it is just my sweet talking and i still dunno do he like me or have feeling for me too or not.. so scared to get reject...and this friday... will be new year eve... and his birthday.. is on the next day 01/01/2005...very special right? still thinking what to buy for him..??? haha the most easy way is tied a ribbon on myself and present to him.. whaahhaha how i wish i could do that... but i really want to buy a gift that hope when he see it will think of me.. heehee a bit bad of me hor... but i am selfish dun forget... so i hope the one i like will think of me too.. ;p

Okay lah ... i shall stop here... wish me luck and hope everything turn out well for my frenz too... you know who i am talking about .. yes it is you all.. k... Take care (^_^)

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

My Christmas Celebration

Friday 24/12/2004

Christmas Eve.. hmm not bad first time went to those christmas party.. very fun wor.. a bit of homly feeling .. ppl there are so friendly even you dun chat with them they will auto approach... after that was went to frenz place.. hmm really enjoy dancing... haha jasper say what me and nerd dance was dirty dancing... ahah yah agree but... simply fun loh... well jass dun you enjoy looking too? wahahah after that they came to my home to "play mahjong" haha in the end was to sleepp... really too tired.. and stress of work... that night i admit.. i drink quite alot as i am not a good drinker too...

Christmas Day.. a beri bad incident happen... Grace phone was stolen and we are unable to find it.. the worse thing is.. she lost it at my home... really sad about it... and more worse ... someone told me about his suspect.. but i strongly believe it is not him no ...

Well overall for my four days holiday... i dun really enjoy much.. kinda sad and like too many unexpected happen and it add on to my burden... till now i still cannot forget things.. things that i hope to forget...-_-

That night on sunday, we went to play pool.. wahhaha finally able to win my kor.. heehee getting better ... just lack of practice... and we took 147 home.. i know it will stop at "His" home... well as usual even looking to his home.. i just cannot help to feel sad and almost cry out loud.. got those feeling just to sit down and cry hard and loud.. have been suppressing it inside for a long long time... i miss him... whenever i miss i will look at louis photo... cos he dun like to take hp photo but louis got the feeling of him...

Friday, December 24, 2004

Not In Good Mood..

It all started guess.. yesterday ba... sense the atmosphere in the admin dept. not really right... but did not guess much so just simply push it off my mind.. but today the atmoshpere is more worse.. (KE) was not talking to me obivously... well why i know? cos it happen once on me liao just becos of a stupid toothbrush... and now.. i dunno what is the real reason behind but i guess it should be something becos of (JS) and the backstabber in office..(i shall not name out who)

Kinda sad that (JS) is leaving, but in my point of view i am not in wrong.. not me who ask her to leave.. i feel she really not suit in this job.. and a bit absentminded... I can say everyone could not take it anymore , run out of patient... but why me is the one who got all this... hey i am the one who teach her in the first place and and i got the anger first but sallow it inside my heart.. only after a fews days i really could not take it so i sought help from them... what the F***

Well whatever it is ... even though i say i am not affect by her is all cheating myself... cos i do treat her as good frenz.. but well nothing i can do if she does not want to talk to me.. i just kept my mouth shut from now on as there nothing to talk or tell her too.. different dept.. but began to think.. am i wrong to transfer dept? wrong to fight for better job?

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

How Should I Made You All Happy??

This is what i ask Ren about... well answer is he wish to go back to the past and live without worries.. well this is something i cannot make it happen cos i cannot turn back time and worries is just things that get involves with us when we grow up.. knowns as "the parts of growing up"

I dun like to see unhappiness in my frenz eyes cos.. sadness is not good... i try my best to be happy when i am with them.. not wanting them to worry for me.. but on the other way round "ni men ye yao xin fu wor" have happiness will have no sadness...

Yesterday night was chatting with Thomas... well told him what i was thinking and the problem now we are facing... well communication is something most couple will face when come to long term relationship bah.. sometime tend to mind so much what he/she say and in the end get angry or even quarrel...

He agree.. but i got a very bad habit wor.. while talking to him i was watching tv too.. so haha i did not catch some parts what he is telling me.. cos he is like mumbling too so in the end i chose to forget not to catch what he say liao, or he going to scold me.. ;p

Today have a urgent thingy happen... hmm.. trouble about it and thinking how to make the person happy... future things we will not know what will happen and do... we can only go through step by step but... if i know if walk this step i will get hurt i will not do it.. that is partly my reason why i dun wanna call "him" again... just standing far away to know he is alright and happy.. (although he is not happy [-_-] ) if i call i will a hurting answer so i rather run away.. and grief over those thing what i should not done...

Okay lah going off liao , hope everything will turn out well for "that person"...


Sunday, December 19, 2004

Wild Wild Wet

heehee really a wild day... although ah ren left early and came meet us late.. haiz.. but after that rain at 4 plus made lots of ppl go off so the queue in the end was not that long..
Most enjoyable one incident i have? hmm will be the part i play "Scissor, Paper, Stone" keke (*_*) just a sudden mind of playing instead of waiting there and just talk...it was like go back to the old times ... me and nerd.. no worry, dun care about what others will think.. we play, we have fun... (^_^)

Funny incident? I have one too.. keke it is something about nerd.. we open up our locker to get wallet to buy food to munch while waiting for the rain to stop and so after that we got 2 gold coins to put our thingy back to the locker... she went off first and i was behind her.. the funny thing is when i go meet her back at the locker place.. i could not see her.. i thought she went to have her thing put in locker wihout me?! wahahah in the end... she went into the gents changing room by mistake.. me and jass was laughing till we drop... kekek....

Sadness only came when we were on our way back to nerd home... "jie kou" is the song best describe what feeling i have now for him.. i began to recall the times i have with "him" and the day i met the one who look alike with "him" ... why he can be so good and smile sweet to me.. and "him" after that incident was not like him... i seem to have a mix pictures of him and "him" ..... tears drop, heart break but i still wish he could have the best of him now... (T.T)

Saturday, December 18, 2004

I found someone like him...

Pink Pink Pink..
haha kinda cute it is not on purpose but just finally able to fit myself into that pink top which i have bought it long ago.. and just so happen i went to shop for my office christmas gift, i got a pink carrier.. and the most cute cute thingy is.. it was raining when i am on my way to meet nerd.. and i had my pink umbrella in office so another pinky...

17/12/04 Friday 6.15pm
The first look of him, reminds me of "him" ... (-_-)
He was wearing white shirt and blue jeans.. what caught my eyes is his eyes with blue contact lens... haiz... mixed feeling.. i know it is not right to think he is "him" ... although i keep looking at him that night.. and kinda "se bu de" when he is leaving for home.. i know who he is.. it just that the whole night i am like those little gals who saw someone they admire and keep looking at them and laugh for nothing... (*_^)

A long time i dun have this kind of feeling already... Those happy feeling and wishes to get home fast to talk to him, those in love feeling even though me and him just frenz... but... haiz... something are not meant to be said...

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Tired & Sleepy Mode.. Zzz...

Wednesday liao... getting very tired this week again.. due to? Study and work.. think i am still not use to the timing of sleeping late... today very stone...

Lunch time i have a lot of mixed feeling...

Went out with my two guys to buy lunch.. when get into the car we were listening to FM93.3 (Music Diary) today story was about a gal who are not able to forget her first love and get into another new relationship. The new relationship last for almost two years but during the times there are quarrel and fights... but she knew this guy like her a lot and care for her... what touches me is.. she have the same thinking as me, just wanted to find a guy who cares and concern to her maybe after that get married with him and bear two cute children... ( that was once my dreams too) (-_-)

Think you all will think the story will stop here.. no.. the gal broke off with the second guy and went back to the first love eventually.. but one good thing is she still find that that guy is her "zui ai" and who she really really wants to spend her lifetime with him... it just that they know in the wrong time but one lucky thing is she still manage to find out what her hearts want... and just in time b4 she get to a wrong guy...

I agree not everyone will be able to be like her to live till the end of time with the one you really love... but after i listen to this story.. i feel like crying and a moment of touch... and in my mind all the while flashing with a guy... a guy who always be behind me to protect and love me with all his might... I know how much he stand in my heart.. a lot alot.. but things that happen around me recently make me drop the idea to say all out to him.. and so i always hurting him with my words... i am sorry ... *sob*....

So when i get back to my office... i pick my phone up to sms him... to tell him i love him a lot and i treasure him a lot... Let pray hard to see what the future will happen and hope i could be like the lady ... to be able to live till old with my "zui ai"

My Favourite Song Now...

涓����骞� 涓����骞�(������涓婚�����)

浣�瑭�锛����璩�纰┿��浣���诧�����璩�纰┿��
绶ㄦ�诧��Terence Teo���婕���憋��Jenny Yang

璧颁����i杭��������肩�句��涓���ㄨ韩���
��ㄨ��璧伴��浜�浠�楹笺�����宸遍�戒��浜�瑙c��
���渚�������������瑭叉��浣����
涓�瑭插����╁��������
��������剁�俱��
娣�娴�涓����

锛����寮风�������便��
���������宸遍�����宸便��浣���间腑��������笺��
瑾�浠�楹奸�藉��椁����浠���虹��涓������间����煎�����
姘搁��涓�������绛�妗����
������澶╃�ラ��������澶�楹兼��浣�

锛�涓�椤�蹇�灞���间�����浜恒��
��ㄦ�����瑁′��楹肩�����骞炽��
������娣变����风��娣便��
���涓����������浜����宸�

锛�涓�椤�蹇�灞���兼�����宸便��
������瑁℃�句����板��骞炽��
�����朵�����寰���告��浜������裤��
���瀛告��涓����骞�

(Repeat 锛�锛�锛�锛�锛�)���

���渚�灏变�����骞�

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

So.. I will be jealous too....(^_*)

erm... so now i understand what i am feeling liao.... it all started on saturday DB outing with Thomas and his office ppl...

Well firstly i feel so "zhi bei", his all gals frenz are all so pretty and me.. haiz.. cannot compare... and his C & C towards gals.. let me for the first time really get jealous into my head... what he did was to hold the gals... touch their waist and you know lah.. during clubbing cannot hear mah.. so get close but so what i am jealous about all this things?? just a frenz mahz... i cannot control ...i tell him about it he say he know what he is doing and did not do those on purpose to take advantage of gals, i know but why last time when i say those he say No but he can? And so in the end my poor bro is the one who got use by me to spite him... whahaah sorry bro... i know i take advantage of you.. but... i can't help it....

So tired on Sunday... wanted to go out to play pool but it is like so tiring so in the end drop the idea... and stay home do housework and watch vcd (Duo Yu)...

Duo Yu (Fighting Fish, or The Outsider)

Just started to watch the part II of Duo Yu.. not really that nice like the first one..i cry for the last two disc of the part I cos the ending really not good... so sad.. make me waste so much tears on it.. haha overall the ending end like in a rush.. and so i hope the part II will not turn out this way too... hmm... hope Xiao Yanzi and Yu Hao be together.. really a perfect match.. two person trying so hard to be together...when they are in love... heehee

Friday, December 10, 2004

Moody Dayz..

Yesterday is still okay... last night i was like out of my mind to rush down from wake to PS to BBoss just to pass my frenz my discount voucher... after went to play aracade... always cannot play good... nerd is always play so well.. haha i must train hard to beat her whahaha...

He message me today... what should i do? Should i reply? I am confused by his nick.. worry something might have happen to him... but i cannot do anything... i am useless not able to control my feeling and will be affected by him so easily... but i am tired to try.. sometime i just hope i can just find a guy who like me and i be with him.. so that i will not think of him.. but this is unfair.. unfair to the one who like me and unfair to my heart...

What should i do.....

Guess my rest of the days be very very moody.... *sob*


Thursday, December 09, 2004

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To ****,
Happy Birthday To You...

This song was suppose to sing to someone who be celebrating his birthday today.. guess i will not get a chance to sing it to him or even to tell him in face a sentance Happy Birthday... or what i have think for so long... I am sorry to say those words.. i regret.. but no turning back now... I hope he be happy and i will try to make myself to forget what had happen between us.. just hope one day i be able to see him on road riding his bike pass by me.. although this is not really will possible will happen... anyway.. all the best to you... lex.....

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

My Feelings

jay Zhou.. Jie Kou

缈昏�������������х��
��冲康��ラ�辫�ョ�俱��
��诲勾������澶┿��
������绗�寰�寰����������浣����娉g��������
灏�������瑾����瑕����
渚�涓������借�����
浣�宸茶蛋寰�寰����涔�瑷变��宸茬����炬��������
涔�瑷卞凡缍�寰���e����������ラ��������宸遍��������
璜����绲����涓���������便��
瑾�浣�涓�������灏辩��������涓�������
��戒����藉��璜����璜�涓�瑕����������
��朵��浣����璜�姹������ラ��������瑕�璧�
���浣������风�������h��浣����������
���������浣�涓���磋蛋��版��寰�灏辩��娌����绲����
���涔���藉����垮�������ラ��浣�������
������绲������胯�句��瑾�绲�������绗�瀹广��
娌�榛���������哄��瀹瑰�����瑕�璧般��
璜�浣�瑷�寰����濡������i�����璜�浣�蹇�浜����

Hanyupinyin:
fan zhe wo men de zhao pian
xiang nian ruo yin ruo xian
qu nian de dong tian
wo men xiao de hen tian
kan zhe ni ku qi de lian
dui zhe wo shuo zai jian
lai bu ji ting jian
ni yi zou de hen yuan
ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo
ye xu yi jing hen nan hui tou
wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo
qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo
jiu suan shi wo bu dong
neng bu neng yuan liang wo
qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu
wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou shi ni shou shang de jie kou
qing ni hui tou
wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou
jiu suan mei you jie guo
wo ye neng gou cheng shou
wo zhi dao ni de tong
shi wo gei de cheng nuo
ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong
chen mo shi yin wei bao rong
ru guo yao zou
qing ni ji de wo
ru guo nan guo
qing ni wang liao wo

Below is the meaning of the lyric of the above song..

Flipping through our photographs
Missing you is half hidden,
half seenThe winter of last year
We smiled very sweetly
Looking at your weeping face
Saying goodbye to me
Too late to hear it
You've already gone very far away
Perhaps you have already given up on me
Perhaps it is already too hard to turn back
I know it is me who let it slip
Please give me another reason to say you don't love me
Even if it is that I don't understand
Can you forgive me?
Please don't take separation and treat it as your request
I know the persistence to leave is your excuse for getting hurt
Request you to turn backI will walk with you all along till the end
Even if there is no resultI can bear itI know your pain
Is the promise I gave
You said you gave me tolerance before
Silence was because of forgiveness
If you have to leave
Request you to remember me
If you are sad
Request you to forget me

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

Monday Blue?? Not me bah..

Monday again... kinda sleepy but not due to monday blues... well so sian and stress but guess i have to lossen up a bit.. or else i be so tight with my work and my study...

Met a long time frenz on saturday.. well a surprise to see him and so sad he cannot recongise me.. keke maybe becos of my hair style and the cap i am wearing.. keke so happy.. Thomas and me went shopping with me b4 we went to Sunlight to sing k... finally bought the cap i have been looking for a long time.. heehee partly becos i am vain haha.. i saw the show "dou yu" and start to like that cap the lady actress is wearing all the time.. and so i got myself a pink colour one.. after trying a white and black..

Sunday was a boring day.. someone promise me to have dinner with me in the end due to some problem and have to cancel.. well i dun have the mood to eat too lah... stomach so pain.... haiz...


Thursday, December 02, 2004

A new month.. (^_^)

A new month.. to refresh what had happen much in last month.. not really much the most enjoy is to go Sunset bay.. and heard from my bro.. keke might be going to Sunset Bay again on 11/12/04.. oh no.. this time really must apply a lot of sunblock or i will really turn malay.. keke like that no one like me liao.. haha...

I still remember the promise i made here.. to forget him within this month and get a new start life and relatioship in the next new year.. guess i might not able to do it.. i am so scare... I think of him today again... is it becos of another month.. i will start to think i have not recall him for a few weeks..

Have been single for two months plus.. really sometimes to find i am lonely not able to get a frenz to chat.. but t think back.. if i am not single i am not able to go out as i wish and go clubbing without worries i might made my guy worry and angry....

Okay shall stop here....


Sad Feeling ...

Wednesday, December 01, 2004


27112004 Sunset Bay_4 Posted by Hello

27112004 Sunset Bay_4 Posted by Hello

27112004 Sunset Bay_2 Posted by Hello

27112004 Sunset Bay_1 Posted by Hello

Bao @ J8 (2) Posted by Hello

Bao @ J8 Posted by Hello

Sunset Bay, Volleyball

27/11/04
Yesterday went with frenz to sunset bay to absorb sunshine and do excerise... but sadly due to my lack of excersie.. now i got a whole body muscle ache.. ouch.. hardly able to sleep well on saturday too...

Finally the problem that my best frenz have is solve... hope she will succeed and will not soft-hearted to go back to him again.. ( i mean now lah) but think if really she cannot leave him.. i am not able to stop her too..hope the best for her....

28/11/04
Went to watch Shutter last night.. Sooo scary.. lucky got nerd sleeping beside me.. or i will cry man.. but in the end i still not enough sleep.. monday blue.. *yawnz*

okay got to go back to work... cya..