Updates

Well as I have said.. 14/08/2005 was a day to make a decision.. guess what i have found out? Toro did a blog for me.. I manage to see what he first made for me.. Juz Pigs.. very nice and very cute.. it suit our theme.. Jin Zhu & Hei Zhu.. but what he found out yesterday totally changes what has actually he had design for me ... *crying* the blog address is still there.. but happines has all gone.. gone...

Still i was unable to make up my mind last night.. but i was thinking what has happen Toro san already know.. will we still able to be like in the past? without any thorn inside our heart? I cried badly when i was coming out of his house.. tears just flow out without my control.. i tried so hard not to cry.. only manage to stop it in front of his parents.. I feel so guilty.. his parents treat me really very good.. *OaNmLyY*

I dunno what i should really do.. Today is my first day at work.. but i got to act as nothing even though 2 person keep flashing into my mind asking who i will chose.. i dunno.. i dunno.. i feel like dying.. i am going crazy... i have the decision but i not sure will i go for my decision.. i wish to go kaboom like toro san .. disappear into thin air.. i know it is all my fault.. my fault to start all this things.. i am the one to stop all this too.. the key.. *foreveramy*