Life back to normal??

Other than the guy who keep chatting in my tagboard.. the others things in my life seem to be getting back to normal.. slowly.. slowly.. saturday after my work i went back home.. taking the an hour bus back home is so sleepy.. wanted to fall asleep but so scare i might miss my stop.. haha and was intend to meet joey and xiubao.. (haha you all should know who) but think joey did not get back to me and so me and toro stay home to play D2.. haiz.. now i am so addict to D2.. we spend our saturday night playing D2 till 3 plus then sleep.. the next day continue our battle.. fighting who get to a higher level.. bleh i seldom play.. so of cos my level is lower than toro.. While toro is playing .. he is so scare he might neglect me.. well he did not cos i play that game too.. so i will keep asking him how ah.. this one is what.. then qiuick your mana getting low..!!! your health!!! hahha me a gan chong spider.. everything must fast..

My weekend just pass this way.. but it passes so fast.. we were so "she bu de" when he is about to go home..

Puzzle II

I really dun understand.. did i really hurt that guy too much.. why is he keep scolding me inside my tag board.. if i really did him wrong.. i really wish to know who he is and tell in.. inside evey love story i put in my wholeheart and love into the relationship.. it did not turn out well in the past is becos i dunno how to cherish them.. it is my fault.. now i learn to cherish i have to learn to control.. i am very sorry to who i am hurt this time.. i should have control my feelings to stop all this from happening..

Puzzle

Ever go to my tag board to see?? There a guy/ ger who are attacking me.. it has been making me puzzle who is that? who is that person who hated me so much that have to scold me ***** .. but well i admit.. i am bad, liars, slut, bitch.. cos i did let someone down.. but it made me think back few months back when i was being a third party.. i did not get the love i have too.. does that mean i scold scold the ger? who did not give up her bf to me?? Life is full of unfairness.. and i guess.. this blog i will not update anymore.. everything should go back to the past which everything should kept inside my heart.. actually talking out is not a good thingy too.. it make a lot of ppl unhappy..

She is constantly waiting for her knight shinning armor even she is with a steady boy friend. She can fall in love or fond of someone else while she is with you. If you break up with her, she will forget you quite fast, because change is in her nature. The Gemini woman breaks more heart than woman in other Zodiac. Because she is a dreamer and always waiting for her knight shinning armor ,so her love life can be complex or a mess.

Once you get to know her, she will be a supportive person and always be beside you. She has a beautiful dream and she loves to have someone walk side by side with her, together and equally.

Not unfamilar to you all cos.. it is a cut and paste from my friendster profile..
Now began to find all this stated inside here is true.. even i have a bf i am still waiting for a knight to come fetch me.. often i will ask too much for my bf too.. but nowadays.. i demand lesser le.. i am tired to demand to things i am not able to get le..
Dream are always not realistic.. to have someone walk side by side but with the hope that a knights would come fetch me.. den how will a person walk side by side to me.. i am not able to give trust or anything full heart to him..

Haiz.. trouble free mind.. am i able to get? Running away from trouble is actually heading towards it more ma..?? do i really know what i want??

After much considering.. i finally put the ring back into Toro finger.. it still fits so nice.. but why are you coming out again to shake my determination to be with him.. You have been not around le.. i thought everything would end.. after that day everythign changes.. and after a day of consideration i pluck up my courage to go down the road with who i want to be.. but it seem you keep appearing.. i dunno.. i dunno... I thought i have closed the door to your heart.. didn't I??

Dao Dai :: Cai Yi Lin ( Jolin Tsai )

wo shou gou le deng dai
ni shuo wei de an pai
shuo de wei lai dao di duo jiu chai lai
zhong shi yao lai bu ji
chai zhi dao wo ke ai
wo xiang yi lai er ni chie dou bu zai
ying kai khai xing de di dai
ni gei de zhi shi khong pai
yi ge ren jia ri fa dai
zao bu dao ren pei wo kan hai
wo zai xing fu de men wai
qie yi zhi dou jing bu lai
ni lei ji gei de shang hai
wo shi zhen de heng na shi huai

zhong yu kan kai ai hui bu lai
er ni zhong shi tai wan ming bai
zui hou cai ba hua shuo kai
khu ce chiu wo liu xia lai
zhong yu kan kai ai hui bu lai
wo men mien chien tai duo cu ai
ni de shou que fang bu kai
ni yuan mei chu xi chiu wo bie li kai

ni zhong shi yao wo kuai
man man ji hua jiang lai
wo de yan lei chie yi zhi diao xia lai
guo qu zhen me jiao dai
ni kai gei de xing hai
dui ni qing shou huang huang thui lu xuan ya
zhong wo lian shang de zhang bai
kan dao ji yi man xia lai
guo qu jian ni zai dao dai
zhi shi gan jue yi jing bu zai
er wo dui ni de qi dai
bei ni yi chi chi xuai huai
yi jing xui chen tai duo kuai
yao zhen me ping zhong kan chong lai

* zhong yi kan kai ai hui bu lai
er ni zhong shi tai wan ming bai
zui hou chai ba hua shuo kai
khu zhi chiu wo liu xia lai
zhong yi kan kai ai hui bu lai
wo men mian chian tai duo cu ai
ni de shou que fang bu kai
ni nian mei chu xi qiu wo bie li kai...

"Miss You Like Crazy"

I used to call you my girl

I used to call you my friend

I used to call you the love

The love that I never had

When I think of you

I don't know what to do

When will I see you again

[Chorus:]

I miss you like crazy

Even More than words can say

I miss you like crazy

Every minute of every day

Girl I'm so down when your love's not around

I miss you, miss you, miss you

I miss you like crazy

You are all that I want

You are all that I need

Can't you see how I feel

Can't you see that my pain's so real

When I think of you

I don't know what to do

When will I see you again

[Chorus]

EMPTY is what is left inside me...

Zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian shui jiao de da ti qin an jing de jiu jiu de wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai wo dong wo ye zhi dao ni mei you she bu de Ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi cheng jin xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai Chorus:ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai wei she me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen bao rong ni ye jie shou ta bu yao dan xin de tai duo wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo ni yi jin yuan yuan li kai wo ye hui man man zou kai wei shen me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni wo zhen de mei you tian fen an jing de mei zhe me kuai wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni shi ying wei wo tai ai ni

Just made what i should do le.. guess ending is not what everyone wanted.. I chose to leave both of them..

*Foreveramy* No more this blog , no more this address.. trust me cos i just went into the url.. i know he is damn angry now.. cos again and again i broke the promise i have given.. and he is very very angry as i did not call or message him at all yesterday.. There is once a person ask me what do i like about him.. hmm.. his love and surprises that touches me too.. just like how i touches him by one surprise.. if that surprise did not happen i guess we will not be in this state too..so..The ending part of this story is The Prince broke the spell that was cast by the witch as There is no more LOVE for the Princess ..

*OaNmLyY* Never be replace by anyone.. LAst love.. I hope i am .. there is once i really very commit myself in our relationship.. it is my fault to let all this to happen .. sorry Dear.. never wanted to hurt you.. i know in the past they have hurt you.. i am alway trying not to.. but it seem i still did it too... As a punishment i left you.. leaving someone who once love me so much...

Updates

Well as I have said.. 14/08/2005 was a day to make a decision.. guess what i have found out? Toro did a blog for me.. I manage to see what he first made for me.. Juz Pigs.. very nice and very cute.. it suit our theme.. Jin Zhu & Hei Zhu.. but what he found out yesterday totally changes what has actually he had design for me ... *crying* the blog address is still there.. but happines has all gone.. gone...

Still i was unable to make up my mind last night.. but i was thinking what has happen Toro san already know.. will we still able to be like in the past? without any thorn inside our heart? I cried badly when i was coming out of his house.. tears just flow out without my control.. i tried so hard not to cry.. only manage to stop it in front of his parents.. I feel so guilty.. his parents treat me really very good.. *OaNmLyY*

I dunno what i should really do.. Today is my first day at work.. but i got to act as nothing even though 2 person keep flashing into my mind asking who i will chose.. i dunno.. i dunno.. i feel like dying.. i am going crazy... i have the decision but i not sure will i go for my decision.. i wish to go kaboom like toro san .. disappear into thin air.. i know it is all my fault.. my fault to start all this things.. i am the one to stop all this too.. the key.. *foreveramy*

Counting down to the days.. 3 more days.. it be the decision day.. i guess there is nothing much to talk about le.. no point.. have you ever ask yourself are you happy now? Happy with what you have now? Contented with what you get?

I am greedy.. guess human nature all human are greedy.. they will not be satisfied by what they have now.. there is always room for improve.. Nothing is Enough.. even love...

Mind game i am tired to play le.. Tactics to get what i want i dun wish to do that le.. Force a person to make a decision to get a force i dunno how to handle le..

What i want to do now? Disappear with someone i love and he love me too... but who thats? who is that i love ?

From the start of my life.. never want anyone to get hurt.. never to hurt anyone.. tryign hard to protected everyone around me.. but it seem i am hurting them more through the way i am protecting them.. Stupid of me.. no wonder Toro always scold me that.. i am stupid.. always a pig!!!

While typing i heard dao dai.. was it fated? I once promised a guy i will learn this song and sing to him.. till now.. i still not able to do that.. to sing for him..

It is hard to make a decision.. hard to give a answer.. cos in this world there a feeling call regret.. whoever that i let go.. i might regret.. cos human will always treasure those that are not able to get and not those they have now.. Right?

Think back.. who dun always think of their past loves .. and ask themselves.. if this does not happen... will we still be togehter?

WHEN THINGS LIKE MEMORIES ARE TO BE GONE LET THEM GO. NO POINTTHINK ABOUT IT CAUSE IT'LL NOT BRING YOU TO ANYWHERE BUT A WHOLE HEARTLY OF SADNESS. I UNDERSTAND MEMORIES CAN'T BE FORGOTTEN NOR OVERWRITE BYANOTHER, BUT THERE'S WAYS TO LET THEM BE SWEET RATHER DEN SOUR. KEEP THINKING OF THESE SAD THINGS WILL ONLY BE CRUEL TO YOURSELF AND SELFISH TO PEOPLE WHO LOVES YOU. THIS MORNINGI'VE BEEN WONDERING WHAT MAKES YOU SO UNHAPPY... IT IS NOT AS SIMPLE AS FLOWER DROP, IT IS SAD MEMORIES THAT COME BACK. HUMAN NATURE IS LIKE THEY ALWAYS TREASURE MOST ON THOSETHINGS THEY ARE UNABLE TO GET. SEEING YOU LIKE THIS HURTS ME TOO.. MAYBE SADNESS COME TO YOU IS PART OF MY FAULT TOO, THE HAPPINESS I BOUGHT TO YOU IS NOT ENOUGH TO TEMPORARY ERASE THEM. BUT THERE IS SOMETHING I WANT YOU TO ALWAYS REMEMBER, IF ONE DAY SOMEHOW IF I AM GONE.. WHENEVER YOU NEEDEDME, I WILL ALWAYS APPEAR NO MATTER FOR WHAT REASON.

This message was actually from a sms i got from Toro san yesterday.. after i had lunch with him.. i sense something was wrong.. and indeed he read my blog.. but he did not say anything more.. other than understanding me and trying to make me more happy yesterday.
As a compensation.. i cook dinner for him and not forgetting my dad.. we did enjoy yesterday night dinner.. as i manage to cook within an hour with the help of Toro... and it does not taste that bad.. everything was finish .. hee hee lucky.. kekek no more dou ya experience..

As for the story.. i saw the blog.. so it has been move.. Princess have to do something in order to save the Prince.. I am wondering what will the Princess do.. i wish that to have a happy ending too..
Trying hard to get over.. i am trying.. i dunno what should i be doing actually le.. there a time limit.. a limit or a so call deadline.. haiz.. i dunno.. i really dunno.. although at this moment i should not have say dunno anymore.. no chance to run away from all this responsible le.. no escape..

A bad day for me today.. when i woke up i saw my dry flower drop on the floor.. guess not really in a good mood i open my room door with quite a strengh to slam it open.. and sorry cosing Toro to wake up.. This is a sign showing i be happy a bad day cos whenever i am unhappy more things will follow to continue to make this day bad..

I dunno what will happen.. but i know something is missing in my lift from today onwards.. not able to get it back.. never...

Just a day.. i find myself lost a part of me... i heard a story from friend.. hope to share...

This morning went to a blog which i always went in to read when i have time.. guess what i find.. the URL is no longer there.. everything gone.. my mind went blank.. the story i am going to say is about the blog.. cos.. it is related and consist of the whole sweet and sour part of the story.. i dunno whether do you all understand.. i just hope to note it down.. i know i will not forget this story.. cos cannot deny it had quite a big impact on me.. it just that i dunno it until now..

It all started with this blog who a prince created for his " princess" (why a "" on top? cos it is no more a princess) hoping to note now everything they have gone through inside the blog.. at first was all sweet lovely memories ... the surprise and the story of happy chocolate, the dan dan dou hua, and the saga seed the prince took time to pick up and decor nicely.. and most important a cute doggie which he gave "princess" .. hoping when he is not around doggie is there with her and protect her..when times goes by.. things started to turn sour... blog turn out to be things that is hurtful to both of them.. cos things are not going through the way they hope to be.. and "princess" told prince it is time to let go.. i guess that is why the blog was gone.. looking in the things that was in the blog will be hurting when things are not the same.. anymore... no more..

Until now i still trying to get over.. i might now be very easy to get angry .. cos i am furstrated.. i cannot go to anywhere... i could not help to do anything at all...