Sad now.. becos of a lot of things.. an hour ago quarrel with toro .. this is the first time we talk a bit louder and no one wants to take a step back.. guess what.. my heart now feeling mserable and feel like crying... well here come crybaby no 2. why no. 2? cos no. 1 is Janet ma.. haha still can joke should be okay bah...

Another thing is.. Toro san has a ger who loves him alot bah.. I dun wish to say who.. but i guess she hates me alot now.. cos i am with him.. i went to see her friendster profile.. well feelings is to cry out loud.. i guess the one she refers who can never be replaced in her hearts is who.. and now..she is single..
I know i always got stupid idea.. but Gemini is meant to make everyone around her to be happy.. i should just give up.. just like everytime.. cos i know.. we two is always so strong headed
never will give each other way.. but yet trying hard to get along.. just becos of fate... i dunno i dunno.. very mix feeling now... have not been really happy recently.. all those sweet feelings seem to be far away from me.. trying hard to get it back but always when i am close it will go further away...

Just read a few blogs.. Mixed feeling... haiz well i dun wish to say more...

Ah kor : well he is worry about his dear = my nerd nerd.. she has been sick for quite some time and as ah kor going to go reservice this week and next week.. he might not able to book out.. that why need someone to take care his baobei.. haha.. well he totally forget still got me this "jie mei" to take care of her...

Nerd : hmm really got to take care of her... so long le still dunno how to rest and take care of health.. want me to scold you again ah..!!! hump... hahah sometime i think am i lesbian.. ahhah yesterday i sms nerd to ask wanna eat lunch in the end she did not sms me back.. so bad.. i lost to ah wee that lao kao.. hahah

hmm for quite some time i have not blog le.. well.. have been sick for the last fews days as my stomach pain have been pain.. and i dun have appetite to eat.. but there one things i am happy.. keke got lighter by 1 kg... but my dear getting lighter too.. 48kg.. haiz.. like that next time how to carry me...???

Hmm me already stop working.. not at dear home.. you know.. it feels like i am turning to be housewife... waiting for husband to come back.. keke so sweet

Well i got something i should say out in my blogger... saturday went out with nerd nerd and jasper to watch Mr & Mrs Smith.. hmm not bad.. worth watchng and glad that dear was happy to go out with them.. but guess i make dear unhappy again.. that night went ktv with nerd frenz.. guess he is not really that happy.. whole night he did not sing but at least he gt play pool.. heee so happy at least i got something that can make him interested to do.. haha and i manage to beat my ah kor with 7 long zhu.. wahhahaah first time lehz..

hmm guess i shall stop here.. update again...

Today is tuesday le.. yesterday just went to office for a fews hours and i go back home.. my stomach pain is back.. and again they cannot check what is going on in my body.. haiz.. endure endure..

Well guess a month of sweetness in my relationship.. here come the realistics of this world.. although we tried not to quarrel .. but guess we both have the limit.. i am wondering who will blow up first.. i am so scare it be a bad outcome.. i dunno.. alot of things i do will make him unhappy.. and unhappy is not a thingy i want to give him.. standing between those things i do and his happiness.. i really dunno what to do.. but i dun wish to lie.. so everytime when i tell him those things he will tends to get angry.. and i know he is swallowing all inside .. but that is not good.. in the end.. when he blow up.. everything that he is unhappy will all come out.. cos he is just like me.. i really dunno what i can do le...

Ok well i admit.. i got too panick.. hee hee.. but i got so "gan chiong" as i am not able to contact Toro at all for nearly two hours... and i stupidly try all ways to find him.. call him.. leave voicemail.. call his frenz.. haha i really care a lot for him bah..

Hmm as for today.. nothing much to note down.. as usual i am doing my work.. rush shipment and machine PO.. and more and more outsider knows i am quitting asking have i got a job.. all the best to me.. well thanks for those.. cos those ppl.. i know they really mean well..

hmm going home le lah.. be meeting Toro guess at my home bah.. guess he will reach quite late.. around five he den able to go home.. so i go home first and wait for him to eat dinner... hmm so happy.. looking forward to see him.. tataz

I can't find my dear.. *sob* sob* he off his phone..!!! I am crying out soon le lah.... Dear call me hao ma?? I am worry about you!!!

Wednesday le.. hmm guess what? This friday Toro and I going to bake "ai xin dan gao" kekek.. just a sudden idea from me and so surprise he agree to do it with me.. haha guess he like cooking a lot too bah.. that why he want to bake too..

So what cake shall I bake?? keke He suggest to bake Chocolate.. i recommend Butter.. hmm.. maybe can do two?? If cannot finish I can bring to office as a farewell gift?? haha btw i be leaving this company on Wednesday le.. mixed feeling.. haiz..

Hhah suddenly think of a funny thing.. kekek yesterday i wake up in the middle of the night at 3 plus.. and guess what make me wake up?? keke of cos not Toro san lah.. he is not at my home.. haha guess i did not drink enough water in the day so in the middle of the night i start to hiccup.. keke very stupid loh.. so i went to toilet to wee wee then drink the tap water hope to stop the hiccup but it fail.. haiz i just simply too tired to walk to the kitchen to get water.. also scare of XXXXX aiya you all should know what lah.. ger ma.. tend to "hu si ruan xiang" so in the end walk to the living room fridge to get a bottle of cold water in order to stop the hiccup...

Side effect of that be i am not able to get back to sleep again.. haiz.. so guess i fall asleep half an hour later.. and now i get myself two panda eyes.. *sob*

Today guess i made Toro angry again.. haiz.. i told him i be meeting KK they all on sunday for afternoon tea.. he got a bit fed up why everytime on the day his duty i will have something on.. will he think i arrange all those..?? hmm really hor dear i did not... they just tell me today and i immediately tell you le..

Hmm guess in the end , he soften down and let me go.. i know he is out to protect me.. i know.. i will protect myself from harm too.. trust me dear... give me a chance to trust me..

well well since now still early and i am waiting for my breakfast to arrive.. i shall just update a bit on what happen yesterday .. hmm firstly must be curious how coem i use the word arrive huh? cos jane say today will bring one dumpling for me as breakfast.. so I am Waiting ~!! hahaha

As for yesterday.. as plan we meet up at amk .. ok Angry No 1. : I always reach there later than dear.. even though my distance compare to his to amk is much nearer.. sad.. but when i reach saw him playing with his Ngage.. i cannot help to smile... then we headed to "Mac" to "ta pao" 2 pieces chicken home.. so here come Angry No 2.: "Mac" is under renovation *hump* theres goes my planning so we walk to the market to see what my next choice to eat.. In the end after walking one round of the market and one round of S11 guess what i decide to eat?? haha did you get it right? it is Chicken chop... haiz... if i know will not walk one whole round of amk in the end get chicken chop to eat.. kekek Then we headed home to eat and watch "Tong Xin Yuan".. Angry No3.: Actually also not consider any angry cos i will not be angry of dear.. but just wanna say .. he so bad while waiting for bus to home he dun let me play Ngage... *sob* hahah but we chat loh.. about what ah?? gers loh.. saw a ger wearing very very short skirt.. we 2 "bian tai" start to discuss how to see her colour go away.. lol... but recently my dear luck seem to be getting better.. bus waiting time is getting lesser wor.. but still very "she bu de" cos "li bie chong si tong ku de" kekeke *sad~*

MONDAY BLUE.....Zzzzzzz
So sleepy today.. guess yesterday really too tired bah.. travle from Jurong back to home.. den go fetch my sis with my dad car den travel to Auntie shop to fetch nerd den go back home.. haha and the dinner at seoul garden is so tired.. eating also very tiring thingy huh? keke..

Hmm just bought a new N-gage for Toro.. hope he like it.. the way he behaves make me feel he dun really.. cos he keep pushing the phone back to me.. haiz.. dear you are the first one i really put in a lot effort in the relationship.. i dun wanna lose you and i never fall so deep deep in love.. more than anyone else.. so i hope you to be happy too..*smile*

Ok i got to go le... meeting my Toro .. keke glad that he made effort to come down to meet me even though he is already so tired after his work.. " hmm here here Hei Zhu sayang Jin Zhu" *muacks* keke very "rou ma" guess nerd and jass is vomitting now.. kekek "pai sei lah" dunno how to really express myself when i see him ma.. i shy.. haha.. ok lah i shall update again tomolo if i have time.. tataz

Friday le.. yeh!!! Finally wait till friday.. guess everyone is looking forward for today... me too.. After 5 days not meeting up with Toro san kinda miss him.. but well one good thingy that when i miss him i will tend to recall those times i had with him.. keke so actually it is quite good too loh..
Haiz.. kinda envy Janet.. ah kor so good got time will go to her work place to fetch her.. but i cannot envy too much too.. cos Toro is in Navy cannot expect too much.. but we shall see lah.. when he ORD haha... maybe he got more time?? hahaha FAt Hope!!!

Recently very busy with work .. kinda stupid of me loh.. cos i am quitting but yet i slog much harder than those still here.. in fact a bit misses the ppl here.. like Joey , Kim and Simon.. but compare when working here i have to face those ppl that i dun like and have to deal with those back stabber.. i guess i rather chose to leave and be more happy.. this is what i hope for..

Did you all realise that recently i only update photo and not diary..?? haha was intending to wait for my birthday photo to arrive b4 i update those thingy that happen that day.. therefore recently i often go to other blog to read rather than mine.. cos nothing to see bah.. haha but in fact the other also did not update much.. those two ppl now falling into deep deep love sea "ai qing hai" no time to update le hor??

So topic there is a topic my colleague was asking around.. "do you agree with Cohabitation? " (hmm did i get it right?)
Most of the ppl agree to that.. well in fact guess nowadays this kinda thingy should be normal le right? but what my colleague is worrying is also right? but when love is all around you, will you still be able to think clearly?
So how about you all??

Suddenly got those down down feeling.. guess better note it down.. so when people dun know what had happen to me and i have a change of attitude they will know why...

This morning get into office have not eat my breakfast already got lots of stuff to rush.. in the end.. haiz.. my breakfast turn to be my lunch.. den after lunch break got to rush for my shipment.. so again i start to pack, prepare invoices again for the rest of the afternoon till now.. so tired... already no mood to smile le.. even smile make me feel tired..

And i just call my dear 5 mins ago.. guess this the first time i show him my attitude.. *bleh* he told me he is busy, call me back later.. and i hang the phone after saying bye.. normally i will wait for him to say bye too.. haha guess i will get a scolding again later.. but it is ok.. that my fault... haiz...

Do you all ever heard of the "cave" thingy??
Last fews days dar was just saying he will seal up his cave in order not to go in.. cos when guys go into their cave we gers really got no way to pull them out.. and their attitude have the great change/.. it might hurt us too.. haiz.. i guess i might be going into my cave too.. but i am forcing hard not to go in.. not good.. i be very cold... cold feeling...