30/11/2005 Second Last Month of 2005

Tomolo be 1st Dec 2005 le.. but know what i know from yesterday..? i might not be able to get conformation ... due to my leave thingy.. haiz.. then why give me hope then make me disappoint again.. I went in to boss room to talk about it.. he say he is ok with i go with my dad but taking whole day off is not good.. everyone in the office will be unhappy if they are unable to get leave approve... I understand his position.. i did make arrangement le ah.. unless i need to go if not will have to ask dad to go with his " frenz" haha who that ? i dunno.. just someone younger than me that all i know..

This problem made me unable to sleep well last night bah.. cos now if i am not able to be perm. staff.. finacially is quite hard.. and another surface up problem is to keep the van my dad is driving is a problem too... if i am unable to drive him to hospital what the use to keep the van? taking cab will be a more feasible way.. as other dunno how to drive.. hmm.. need to consider again...

Last night i keep dreaming of dad doing chemo.. is that a signal to me? i am not sure.. got quite worried of it.. i hope.. it turn out fine tomolo.. i guess i might just get another sleepless night tonight...

Dear be starting work today... first day at work will have to work 10hrs le.. a bit heart pain for him.. i was wondering if he is not with me he does not need to be so xinku le.. and thinking at this moment of time if it is not him by my side . is another guy who is with me.. will he be able to take all this stress with me and help out or will just go and left me alone?? Well all this is all unanswer cos it will not happen as i am still with Dear now.. and actually i never expect Dear to help me with all this.. cos we just BGR not even married.. haha well well i know you will start to say dun forget our promise 01/05/2006 ROM... i remember that.. but are we really able to ROM.. i dun dare to dream of future now.. i cherish the moment we are having now..