Surprise Surprise!!!
Haha change my blog skin.. a bit more cheerful ma? but 1 thing i still need to amend is the blog part too big.. those intro and frenz squeeze in one column.. i will try to amend again when i have time k.. just bear with it ... sorry..
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
30/11/2005 Second Last Month of 2005
Tomolo be 1st Dec 2005 le.. but know what i know from yesterday..? i might not be able to get conformation ... due to my leave thingy.. haiz.. then why give me hope then make me disappoint again.. I went in to boss room to talk about it.. he say he is ok with i go with my dad but taking whole day off is not good.. everyone in the office will be unhappy if they are unable to get leave approve... I understand his position.. i did make arrangement le ah.. unless i need to go if not will have to ask dad to go with his " frenz" haha who that ? i dunno.. just someone younger than me that all i know..
This problem made me unable to sleep well last night bah.. cos now if i am not able to be perm. staff.. finacially is quite hard.. and another surface up problem is to keep the van my dad is driving is a problem too... if i am unable to drive him to hospital what the use to keep the van? taking cab will be a more feasible way.. as other dunno how to drive.. hmm.. need to consider again...
Last night i keep dreaming of dad doing chemo.. is that a signal to me? i am not sure.. got quite worried of it.. i hope.. it turn out fine tomolo.. i guess i might just get another sleepless night tonight...
Dear be starting work today... first day at work will have to work 10hrs le.. a bit heart pain for him.. i was wondering if he is not with me he does not need to be so xinku le.. and thinking at this moment of time if it is not him by my side . is another guy who is with me.. will he be able to take all this stress with me and help out or will just go and left me alone?? Well all this is all unanswer cos it will not happen as i am still with Dear now.. and actually i never expect Dear to help me with all this.. cos we just BGR not even married.. haha well well i know you will start to say dun forget our promise 01/05/2006 ROM... i remember that.. but are we really able to ROM.. i dun dare to dream of future now.. i cherish the moment we are having now..
Tomolo be 1st Dec 2005 le.. but know what i know from yesterday..? i might not be able to get conformation ... due to my leave thingy.. haiz.. then why give me hope then make me disappoint again.. I went in to boss room to talk about it.. he say he is ok with i go with my dad but taking whole day off is not good.. everyone in the office will be unhappy if they are unable to get leave approve... I understand his position.. i did make arrangement le ah.. unless i need to go if not will have to ask dad to go with his " frenz" haha who that ? i dunno.. just someone younger than me that all i know..
This problem made me unable to sleep well last night bah.. cos now if i am not able to be perm. staff.. finacially is quite hard.. and another surface up problem is to keep the van my dad is driving is a problem too... if i am unable to drive him to hospital what the use to keep the van? taking cab will be a more feasible way.. as other dunno how to drive.. hmm.. need to consider again...
Last night i keep dreaming of dad doing chemo.. is that a signal to me? i am not sure.. got quite worried of it.. i hope.. it turn out fine tomolo.. i guess i might just get another sleepless night tonight...
Dear be starting work today... first day at work will have to work 10hrs le.. a bit heart pain for him.. i was wondering if he is not with me he does not need to be so xinku le.. and thinking at this moment of time if it is not him by my side . is another guy who is with me.. will he be able to take all this stress with me and help out or will just go and left me alone?? Well all this is all unanswer cos it will not happen as i am still with Dear now.. and actually i never expect Dear to help me with all this.. cos we just BGR not even married.. haha well well i know you will start to say dun forget our promise 01/05/2006 ROM... i remember that.. but are we really able to ROM.. i dun dare to dream of future now.. i cherish the moment we are having now..
Friday, November 25, 2005
Nothing much to do now at work.. so came here to blog a bit.. just now crying again.. haiz.. was calling my dad as i told him about the medical report thingy which then i know Dear was toking to him about it too.. and he was crying.. at the moment of time.. i find my Dad sound weird but i did not ask much.. after the call i call Dear then i found out Dad was crying becos he know i am very hard up now.. i find myself useless.. cannot even fork up 100 .. zzzzzzzzzzzz when is my pay coming? guess today not able to get le.. got to wait till next week.. some more this month dun earn that much.. i still have to attend a wedding .. ang bao.. sianz..
Tok about that now den i find out.. my second sis bdae fall on the same day as Janet's sis.. dec 4th.. haha so qiao.. hmm but two of them is heaven and earth character.. zzzzzzz haha..
Yesterday went to hospital with Dad again for check up.. and went for interview too.. at Kinokuniya.. (oops did i got it right) at first was hoping i be able to get in.. but now.. haiz kinda hard.. 6-10 mon to fri.. even though it is the best time i can hope for but for me to go work i guess really hard.. and even weekend i chose to work.. the time is not compitable to mine current job.. and thinking if my place here in future turn to be 5days.. i will have to work till 6pm.. which is another place work time.. well.. we shall see loh..
Hospital side.. finaically we know how we can unburden le.. but heard from the doctor.. this is unable to complete cure as we have to keep doing chemo to control.. so it be a long run thingy.. i just hope.. dad be able to withstand the chemo treatment..
Ok let talk about soem happy things.. hmm.. ooh yesterday we went to a place near the Mustafa there.. there have one stall selling "ruo ku mian" if you got stay hoem watch every sunday the "jie tou mei shi xing" you will know.. wah although the soup not that fantasic but the "zhu gan" really ichiban !!! very soft.. and juicy.. yum yum.. and that is the place my dad use to work bah.. then at there we talk about a lot of his past memories.. he used to live near the seaside.. but he does not know how to swim.. keke we was laughing when we know that.. lucky i did not propose to bring him go swim.. haha.. and a lot like what jobs he use to work..and those hardship... *sobs* dunno why still feel like crying.. let me cry finish then write.. Bye bye..
Tok about that now den i find out.. my second sis bdae fall on the same day as Janet's sis.. dec 4th.. haha so qiao.. hmm but two of them is heaven and earth character.. zzzzzzz haha..
Yesterday went to hospital with Dad again for check up.. and went for interview too.. at Kinokuniya.. (oops did i got it right) at first was hoping i be able to get in.. but now.. haiz kinda hard.. 6-10 mon to fri.. even though it is the best time i can hope for but for me to go work i guess really hard.. and even weekend i chose to work.. the time is not compitable to mine current job.. and thinking if my place here in future turn to be 5days.. i will have to work till 6pm.. which is another place work time.. well.. we shall see loh..
Hospital side.. finaically we know how we can unburden le.. but heard from the doctor.. this is unable to complete cure as we have to keep doing chemo to control.. so it be a long run thingy.. i just hope.. dad be able to withstand the chemo treatment..
Ok let talk about soem happy things.. hmm.. ooh yesterday we went to a place near the Mustafa there.. there have one stall selling "ruo ku mian" if you got stay hoem watch every sunday the "jie tou mei shi xing" you will know.. wah although the soup not that fantasic but the "zhu gan" really ichiban !!! very soft.. and juicy.. yum yum.. and that is the place my dad use to work bah.. then at there we talk about a lot of his past memories.. he used to live near the seaside.. but he does not know how to swim.. keke we was laughing when we know that.. lucky i did not propose to bring him go swim.. haha.. and a lot like what jobs he use to work..and those hardship... *sobs* dunno why still feel like crying.. let me cry finish then write.. Bye bye..
Wednesday, November 16, 2005
Good news!! I be able to confirm on 01/12/2005, but hearing from my supervisor this news i dun feel happy at all.. i dunno .. due to afternoon talk bah.. whatever it is going to off work soon.. i dunno what might happen i cannot forsee.. is he coming to my place to fetch me or has he gone back home?? Half year le.. why still cannot understand how i think.. i always think for you, stand at your position.. can't i be selfish once? Do what i want? not control by ppl? Ya i know.. again.. Trust trust TRUST all this words will keep flashing in our conversation cos there are no trust.. even there is you think a relationship last?? Take others as example: A guy who time and again behind his gf back "tou chi" is this what the ger should get back? when she has all her trust to him that he will change for the good?? So is the trust really worthy?? You tell me...
Meanful Blog
Not sure does meanful this word exist but i guess after reading this blog you all will know what i mean le..
Just dun understand those bitchy gers out there.. why like to know so much guys who is around me.. (maybe you should know who you are bah) at first really do ke lian you to be now in this stage.. got to suffer again and again the painful experience but now i should be f**king happy cos maybe you do deserve it.. cos too much time to browse into ppl frenz so no time to look after your bf..
Just a sentance, maybe i might be wrong about it.. but i will not just believe it is so coindence you know most of my guys frenz.. also my fault.. i am not that free to look into other pages to find out about this until today when my OWN boyfrenz told me he add HER as frenz in order to spite me.. *grin* thanks Dear !!!
To My Dear: to me, it does not matter to me you know others ger or not.. but you chose to add her even though after i ask you about what did you messgae her.. why will she view you.. now i know all.. i will not hear in others opinion cos i chose to believe what i have been thinkign just like what all does.. no need to give me excuses or reason..
Not sure does meanful this word exist but i guess after reading this blog you all will know what i mean le..
Just dun understand those bitchy gers out there.. why like to know so much guys who is around me.. (maybe you should know who you are bah) at first really do ke lian you to be now in this stage.. got to suffer again and again the painful experience but now i should be f**king happy cos maybe you do deserve it.. cos too much time to browse into ppl frenz so no time to look after your bf..
Just a sentance, maybe i might be wrong about it.. but i will not just believe it is so coindence you know most of my guys frenz.. also my fault.. i am not that free to look into other pages to find out about this until today when my OWN boyfrenz told me he add HER as frenz in order to spite me.. *grin* thanks Dear !!!
To My Dear: to me, it does not matter to me you know others ger or not.. but you chose to add her even though after i ask you about what did you messgae her.. why will she view you.. now i know all.. i will not hear in others opinion cos i chose to believe what i have been thinkign just like what all does.. no need to give me excuses or reason..
Friday, November 11, 2005
Friday!!! But I am still so Tired
Hmm why i am still so tired?? haiz.. this week i need to work on saturday too.. sianz.. having diffcult to pull myself out of the cozy bed... haha.. more and more like Dear le..
Did you see Channl 5 last night??
keke.. there a news show going on.. actually something that i like too.. cos it is like those saving life de.. i like those show.. *smile* and moreover.. yesterday i feel like home.. everyone came into my room to watch a 17 inch tv instead there is a 29 inch tv which is showing the same program too.. haha... but the feeling is like.. everyone laughing.. and talk about it.. so happy... and my dad... i like evening time.. now i always able to see him smile.. i hope it truely from him heart..
My moods is flying high today..
Dunno maybe becos it if friday le bah.. my mood today was quite good.. so i did a crazy thingy.. become blog stalker.. haha how? Although i always go nerd nerd and my ah kor blog to read (consider stalker too right?) i went to others blog to read too.. (those who i seldom read) just wanna make my mood down too.. haha did it? NO it did not.. even i read until some parts where i find it angry the feelign just gone straight away.. I learn a thing from my previous job.. I CANNOT CHANGE HOW PPL THINK OF ME COS PPL WILL THINK THEIR OWN WAY.. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WILL TO EXPLAIN THEY STILL THINK THEIR WAY.. so i chose from the start not to do any explanation.. cos it just made me more entangle into the problem.. which made me become - - - - LIARS *haha*
Advice??
Letting go to have a better tomolo... There be always memories.. and just like me (a so-called liars) there be alot of those too.. trying to get symanpty and regret why did they do not chose the one they love at that moment.. with regret ppl will do what they can to try to get back what they use to have.. So get on with life and keep those past as memories.. *smile*
Good News!!!
Dad finally agree to do chemo.. so now trying to get SCS fund to help.. and earn more moeny.. i dun feel good when i am working i still need parents to help out some finacial.. *smiel* For all gods above, Please makethe chemo be a suscess..
Joke..::..
Did i tell you all what my two nephew and niece did??
haiz.. without our knowledge they call the donation fund to make donation.. it make my sis mad that they was beaten up with cane.. the amount was so shocking..!! 500 plus .. they really know how to chose loh.. keep calling the 50 bucks one.. zzzzzzz.... so what there to be funny about?? Only our family know.. not to forget and my DEar is consider our family...
Hmm why i am still so tired?? haiz.. this week i need to work on saturday too.. sianz.. having diffcult to pull myself out of the cozy bed... haha.. more and more like Dear le..
Did you see Channl 5 last night??
keke.. there a news show going on.. actually something that i like too.. cos it is like those saving life de.. i like those show.. *smile* and moreover.. yesterday i feel like home.. everyone came into my room to watch a 17 inch tv instead there is a 29 inch tv which is showing the same program too.. haha... but the feeling is like.. everyone laughing.. and talk about it.. so happy... and my dad... i like evening time.. now i always able to see him smile.. i hope it truely from him heart..
My moods is flying high today..
Dunno maybe becos it if friday le bah.. my mood today was quite good.. so i did a crazy thingy.. become blog stalker.. haha how? Although i always go nerd nerd and my ah kor blog to read (consider stalker too right?) i went to others blog to read too.. (those who i seldom read) just wanna make my mood down too.. haha did it? NO it did not.. even i read until some parts where i find it angry the feelign just gone straight away.. I learn a thing from my previous job.. I CANNOT CHANGE HOW PPL THINK OF ME COS PPL WILL THINK THEIR OWN WAY.. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU WILL TO EXPLAIN THEY STILL THINK THEIR WAY.. so i chose from the start not to do any explanation.. cos it just made me more entangle into the problem.. which made me become - - - - LIARS *haha*
Advice??
Letting go to have a better tomolo... There be always memories.. and just like me (a so-called liars) there be alot of those too.. trying to get symanpty and regret why did they do not chose the one they love at that moment.. with regret ppl will do what they can to try to get back what they use to have.. So get on with life and keep those past as memories.. *smile*
Good News!!!
Dad finally agree to do chemo.. so now trying to get SCS fund to help.. and earn more moeny.. i dun feel good when i am working i still need parents to help out some finacial.. *smiel* For all gods above, Please makethe chemo be a suscess..
Joke..::..
Did i tell you all what my two nephew and niece did??
haiz.. without our knowledge they call the donation fund to make donation.. it make my sis mad that they was beaten up with cane.. the amount was so shocking..!! 500 plus .. they really know how to chose loh.. keep calling the 50 bucks one.. zzzzzzz.... so what there to be funny about?? Only our family know.. not to forget and my DEar is consider our family...
Thursday, November 10, 2005
why am I in office today??
Normally you will not get to see me on thusrday as recently this day i be in hospital with my dad.. As today appointment is in the noon.. so i decide to come work earn some medical fees b4 i go off..
Finally Dear stop opposing me to find a part time le.. haiz.. i know scare me too tired.. but really not enough money to use le lah.. got to find asap.. Frenz around me.. pls leave me further away.. cos i do not want to borrow money from you all.. i scare i might just ask from you all.. lol.. stay away...
ok gonna stop here le ..
PS: Catch me tonight @ Channel 5 8.30pm on Lifeline... dun forget to watch it Nerd!!!*wink*
Normally you will not get to see me on thusrday as recently this day i be in hospital with my dad.. As today appointment is in the noon.. so i decide to come work earn some medical fees b4 i go off..
Finally Dear stop opposing me to find a part time le.. haiz.. i know scare me too tired.. but really not enough money to use le lah.. got to find asap.. Frenz around me.. pls leave me further away.. cos i do not want to borrow money from you all.. i scare i might just ask from you all.. lol.. stay away...
ok gonna stop here le ..
PS: Catch me tonight @ Channel 5 8.30pm on Lifeline... dun forget to watch it Nerd!!!*wink*
Monday, November 07, 2005
Friday, November 04, 2005
01 NOV 2005
This is a post-dated blog, wanted to note down how we spend our first half year.
On this remarkable day, we proceed as we have plan to go ZOO.. *smile* but we have one more person coming with us.. and thats my dad.
Decide to took a bus there instead of car.. at least can enjoy the journey.. hmm so with two EZLink card, i have to give mine to dad use and i top up with coins.. haha guess what.. maybe i was wearing a cap bah.. i ask the bus driver " how much to amk interchange?" the bus driver ask me back," did i bring my student pass"......... imagine how my dad react? *sob* he say i forget to bring.. zzzzzzzzz............ den keep on laughing till found a seat... sad sad..
Finally we reach zoo.. wah!! so much changes after my last visit.. hmm so my choice to go zoo is right.. heehee... but it is a pity we only manage to walk half of the zoo and we headed home.. cos dad is already not feeling well.. dun wanna strain him.. i know he might feel a bit guilty to left.. as he wanted us to stay longer to walk.. but how can we just left him out..
"Er Wai De Shuo Huo"
Well this is unable to see in documentary show de wor.. haha when walk to the lions side.. we saw a lion trying to get close to a lioness.. haha guess what are they doing? haha i would not say much of it.. well i did to try to tape it down.. too bad guess they found out.. and stop.. haizz.. want me to be "gou zai dui" confirm fail.. i so stupid always got found out.. haha
Happy that Dear told me he is quitting smoking.. this is something i always wish for which till now still have not fulfill. Last night guess when he hug me i smell his finger got cigratte smell again.. haiz.. guess quitting still got a long way to go.. When can i have a bf that dun smoke? haiz..*frowning*
About family.. i got nothing much to say le.. and dun wish to talk about it.. take a step at a time now bah.. there is nothing much i am able to do too..
Guess i shall stop here.. got time tonight i will update my blog again bah.. dear just bought a router to be able to use his lappie at my home.. haha i did help to set up too wor.. maybe i should go study IT...
