Today is a blue blue and busy day for me.. cos for this coming week we will be having quite a long holiday but actually not that long lah.. haha 01 feb 2006 resume back to work le.. as a lot of ppl scare kana store rent that why everyone rushing for document.. as for us morning got a meeting for an hour like that.. make my things all push backward.. now then finish and can relax a bit... OMG my breakfast is still sitting on the table .. bleh.. dear dear make for me de.. haha guess will have to eat afterwork.. just now really too busy le.. as for blue blue.. i dun wish to say much le.. it is bad news.. -_-


Yupz.. enough of unhappiness .. it will be CNY eve tomolo.. at last tomolo can sleep later.. haha so lazy pig hor.. hmm so during CNY will have a few days not being able to blog le.. hmm.. actually now also nothing much to blog.. slowly getting those new year mood but not that much.. the older you get the older you dun wish all this to come.. haha.. cos you will know you are getting older.. wahahah.. Dear recently dunno what happen ..keep having low morale.. dunno how to cheer him up to.. i know sometime ppl tend to have their down side.. i dunno,.. maybe becos of work? or studies? ask him he say dunno too..

Ok hereby I wish everyone to have a Happy Chinese New Year.. Gong Xi Fa Cai.. and after CNY will be Valentine Day le.. hmm.. will it still be like last year?? keke.. chocolates and flowers??

Hereby.. I want to say something to someone..

To Her,

If you cannot forget him dun let him go in the first place... if you have let him go please stop making him guilty. If LOVE is to let the other party to be happy let him be.. If you think you can do a better job , Please prove it (^_^)

Counting Down to CNY - - - 1 more day to go (^_^)

Hello All,

It is coming to CNY again.. have you all buy your new year clothing and shoes?? keke I noe.. nerd nerd has been buying a lot.. haha.. Hmm why my mood today so good?? oh cos yesterday my dear and me went to Bishan to shop.. we wanted to have a quick shopping and go back eat crab.. haha (my dad bought two big crab yesterday) hee hee.. actually consider quite fast too.. 6pm we reach Bishan.. had our dinner.. take about half an hour.. then we started to go U2 first .. just step in Dear spot a brown shirt for himself.. he like the materials and the design.. so i ask him go into fitting room to try.. but hor he bad.. no try out let me see.. then we walk round U2 could not find any suitable for me and so we made payment and go le.. so only now left me have not buy anything cos last last week dear buy a pair of jeans le.. Next station, SHIBUYA.. hmm i guess i am not able to find any clothes approval to wear.. haha just go one short round the clothes not "di xiong" will be very revealing loh.. so dun waste time.. move on to next station.. Double Index... (di di di.. door closing) haha ok ok crap.. hmm not bad.. got myself a top and bottom in that shop.. and i like their paper bags.. hahah so pretty.. hmm but from that shop i find out one thing.. i am not suitable to wear purple.. i wear le look weird on me.. unlike nerd.. i find she wear so nice.. haha i guess i should stick to my pink pink.. oh no.. you all must be thinking i be wearing pink for CNY?? haha no.. the clothes that i chose turn out to be black.. haha but lucky bah cos my shoes also black ma.. hmm Dear say Cu 1 go grandma house ok to wear black.. they will not say anything so lucky loh.. after i bought my clothes, and dear got his.. we intend to go back le.. but go pass shoe shop again leg itchy.. already so long no buy shoe le.. always cannot find a good one.. so bobian.. i must plan.. cos my slipper and working shoe going to spoilt.. b4 they leave me i guess i leave them first heehee.. *grin* wanted to buy "qing lu xue" but the one selling ah.. no brand and the shoe i guess wear le will pain de loh.. the part where our toes hold is make of plastic so better dun buy that if not miserable is us.. so kinda sad while walking to interchange loh.. but when we pass by OP saw their slipper eh.. not bad leh.. somemore having 20% discount.. so ok lah.. though we could not have simliar design at least we get same brand.. haha.. so plus 2 more slipper.. just 2 hours we spend 100 plus le.. haha "heng ke pa dui ma?" we just see we like we buy.. haha ok lah still affordable price.. and since CNY spoilt ourselves abit.. when we got home mom started to cook the crab in ah ma style.. hmm it taste so good loh.. the crab quite big in size and so the flesh is.. OMG.. (are you drooling too??) hmm too bad dad cannot eat.. i know he wish too.. but he forbid himself not to .. haiz..

I hope dear enjoy yesterday.. the shopping spreed... and moreover.. i hope he be happy everyday.. i remember i made a promise to him.. I want to make him happy everyday.. out of the miserable he had from his past.. I guess i did not fulfill that.. cos recently i keep making him unhappy.. all becos my acts .. i want to be just his "xiao mao mi" only goes to him to "sa jiao" *smile*

A lot of happy things happen yesterday right?? so my mood today is flying high up in the sky.. but later be going to hospital again.. Dad appointment with doc.. see the report how and decide what to do next.. My heart a bit worried and depress.. if the answer is not good i dunno what will dad think... recently he keep having cold shiver and fever.. anyone know how to stop this please message me k..

oops "bu zhi bu que" i type quite a long blog le.. guess you all must be tired.. ok time to go sleep de go sleep.. time to get back to work de go work.. time to meet frenz de go meet.. dun keep looking at my blog.. nothing much to read.. only the "ba gua" (gossip not rou gan hor) haha around me.. ok bye bye

PS: i just cut and paste my dear blog scirpt.. i want to put the songs inside my blog too.. but my office no speaker i am not able to listen have or not.. if have hope you all enjoy it.. cos this the song i am currently keep listening due to the show.. if dun have.. i will keep improving to make it able to listen .. *wink*

Today is really a bad day bah.. nothing really strike off the anger.. it just came becos of a present... have to admit i still cannot get over a ger that use to love him with all her might.. i understand that kind of feeling.. when in the end it turn nothing out.. he know it himself too.. and everytime when angry i will push him to her.. cos i do believe she will do much better than me to tolerate his temper not like me who always go against what he dun like..


['oo'] ??::: ::: says:
enuff
['oo'] ??::: ::: says:
u wish me to go away rite
['oo'] ??::: ::: says:
wish me to get back to her rite
['oo'] ??::: ::: says:
juz because of the post, u wanted me to leave u rite

My heart hurts when i saw all this.. i thought he will just say i leave after the last message,.. i could not say those out cos i know.. i do love him.. but maybe in the wrong way where he cannot understand how i feel.. it really pain in my heart.. *crying inside my heart*

Yue ru... sob..

Yesterday finally watch the vcd again.. i know Yue ru be dead soon.. being refuse to watch.. so what is expect is there nothign can be change.. the moment Yue ru sarcific herself made me drop tears and keep shaking head.. dun wish her to die.. haiz.. afterall still a show why take it so hard right?? but still..

Slowly now began to understnad the story how come everyone will see Xiao Yao ten years ago le.. began to look forward the ending though it is not a good one..haiz.. human are so weird...

Wanted to vent all my anger out.. in my last blog.. all those stupid thinking came all out.. dun wish to think of those..

*throwing away my trouble*

Just read Janet blog.. keke yah long time no go that V8 to eat le.. how is the food?? nice ma?? haha thanks.. will be looking forward for the blue bear right? keke.. and nerd.. haha that drink machine is my plaything.. hahah never fail to play with it when i go NUH.. haha i guess my ezlink fare spend quite alot on that machine.. hahha


Fans
Shall i have a checklist of how many ppl came into my blog to read?? even those i did not expect will come into here de.. just get to know from dear a few of his frenz do come in often to read.. ha.. but i hope from my previous blog.. which is during the month of nov and dec 2004 explain everything.. never had a chance to explain to her.. i know him after they are not together and not during.. those ppl who say those untrue thing hope it be clear.. (^-^)

Bad Tuesday

Every thign was spoilt in the morning.. just a quarrel my mood all changes.. made me so moody.. so easy to get fed up.. dun wish to talk with anyone.. scare i might just shout at them...

Presents.. all becos of present.. anythign wrong to take presents from frenz?? did i flare up when you receive your present from IRENE?? i guess i did not.. at the moment you did not even tell me the truth she bought for you..so what there to be unhappiness when my frenz is there i hope just me and him..?? why?? considering other ppl feeling wrong? must i alway put bf in piority?? but FYI i dun k.. frenz are the same.. looks like.. i got control so much in this relationship.. if no one going to change i guess after marriage it be worse.. i guess we should hold back everything.. i will not want to see when i get married i dun even have the freedom to talk with my guys frenz.. i really hate ppl to control me until like this.. i do still have my freedom right?? I am not like your ex gf when you say No means no.. you know from the start i am a stubborn ger... and i know you are too..

I am Human , not your Pet, able to control by you to who to see, who to talk.. please..

Back back.. so sorry wanted to blog on saturday.. cos working.. but ended up i read my magazine haha.. hmm ok overall update what i have done over the weekend..

hmm Work as usual in the morning then meet dear for lunch back at amk S11 (cos we really miss the food over there..) so we got two sets of Chicken chop and yong tau foo) haha hmm well got myself very full in the end.. but at least kill some of my craving of food.. but ended up when i reach dear home i am already half tank... hmm what wrong with my stomach?? got worms inside ah.. so spend our evening and night playing RAN online.. very hook on it now.. lvl 24 haha but got die a few time lah..

Sunday went to clementi for bf.. hmm sort of lunch le.. quite late when we got there.. and having diffculty to find parking.. had chicken rice and after that we started to search for my novel.. cos dear say saw b4 here got one shop and they sell cheap.. true enough.. A dollar for one novel.. very cheap but limited series and they do marking on the books loh.. haiz.. although got all this bad point i still got myself 5 books.. heehee bo bian all read finish le.. and really craving on new one.. and se bu de go buy those at popular.. too ex.. So after that we got back home.. watch vcd hmm something about mahjong de.. this is the part 2.. quite funny too abit of the show Kungfu inside.. keke.. there a part i almost cried ba.. kinda sad.. then Dear dad cook chicken soup for dinner.. and he keep giving me the soup to drink while watching.. my stomach is full of water loh.. The best part is when i got home we have to eat dinner again.. haha.. and guess what?? My mom cook herbal chicken drumstick too... lol.. my sunday can be know as "Chicken Sunday" le.. hahaha so again we had those loh.. oh yah.. b4 going home Dad call me.. ask me to buy a cake for mom while on my way back.. cos it is her brithday.. i already forgotten when was the last time we celebrate my mom de le.. everyone just simply forget or ignore it.. what touches me and dear was.. while dad and mom takign photo.. my dad put his hand over my mom shoulder.. this act i guess very seldom see.. and dear took it down too.. (^_^) i guess i will was that out.. it is full of memory..


Sometime i guess i am thinking too much of everything.. but hope it really was.. Saturday when Dear and i accompany his parents to go buy cookies.. i heard a news from the radio.. a chinese guy jump down from amk st 32 , and describe what he is wearing at that time.. my heart skip a bit.. dear saw me and understand what i am thinking and pass me the phone.. thanks dear... well that is a false alarm of cos.. although i know from dad he told the social worker he will not do that anymore.. but my mind just cannot erase from that day.. i am still very scare.. i dunno how to be able to forget it.. anyway dad is going for scan again today.. hope i get to hear good news..

Here I am again.. last two days kinda busy with my shipment do not really have time to blog.. sorry.. some of you all must be boring without my blog?? haha or i too "zi zhuo duo qing"?? haha ok loh.. then you better dun read my blog k.. haha..

Hmm nothing much this two days too.. cos just go back home eat dinner then play RAN online le go sleep.. nothing special in my life.. though it is boring (you might think) but i really enjoy staying home slack.. the best part is i no need to housework will be better le.. haha.. finally tidy up my bedroom.. this few days see my table all this so clean of dust haha at least some achivement.. kekeke..

Also dunno want to blog what.. simply purely too free at work this morning so after wlny , msn (no one to chat) then come into here to blog..

Saw nerd nerd blog.. wah.. she blog a lot of things inside.. hee hee due to she not able to use pc at least she blog it on pc then post it later on.. that take me 15 mins to read her blog loh.. help me pass my 15 mins.. haha.. other than that.. oh i want to recommend one place to eat.. Golden Shoe !! hehe you all might find me stupid or what.. but i find that place is second Amoy.. got lots of nice food and most important they are not expensive very cheap de..but the portion might be quite small for guys bah.. for me erm.. sometime i feel not enough filling.. but there got my fav OCK haha.. can buy for tea break loh..

hee hee going to lunch time again.. shall stop here le..

Bluezzzzzzz......

At first my day is a happy day.. but after lunch it turn to bad.. now.. worse..skip what make me unhappy for lunch.. now my stomach very pain.. dunno is it what i ate for lunch.. hump.. pain but nothing coming out.. lucky going off work soon.. endure for an hour more..

yupz yupz apart from my last blog.. it has been one two three four days i have not blog.. well cos it is weekend ma.. hmm weekend nothing much and special to blog bah.. went orchard to shop.. but did not buy anything .. hmm then planning to go watch movie but dear hand suddenly pain.. so not safe to drive so we stay at his home.. well it has been a long time since i last stay overnight at his home le.. actually going over his my heart still at my home.. very worried for dad scare anything might happen when i am not at home.. haiz..

Oh yah.. if you are free on saturday and nothing to do and dun mind to watch Tv .. switch on tv at 9pm Channel U , the show i have been saying.. "XIAN JIAN QI XIA ZHUANG" it is now shown on tv.. this made me think i must watch even faster so that i can know the ending eariler if not.. i might as well watch tv..

Told dear yesterday nerd nerd they all go Sentosa.. I wanted to go de.. but always forget to tell Dear about it.. i miss the SUN the SAND & the SEA haha.. i guess dear dun like it bah.. haiz.. cos he see those three S until sianz le.. dunno was it fun yesterday or not.. hmm but yesterday respond not that good lehz.. not much ppl turn up.. but for me got dear and nerd can le.. haha... I miss playign volleyball .. haha if play volleyball cannot miss out AH Don.. *bleh*

Ops.. I left that out..

hmm some happy things i forget to post in my last post bah.. Felt that Dear dad really treat me very good unlike what he always said to me about his dad.. Last saturday after my work went to meet up with dear to buy some pc stuffs.. so after that we went back his home.. he repair his pc i do my usual activity SLEEP!! haha.. was coughing badly that day.. so wanted a rest badly..

Before that we went to Marina Square to have our lunch.. (cos dear home cooking curry) haha shh... and as usual.. with my no limited on food.. and i was very hungry after the long wait at sim lim.. i order a whole table of food.. OMG i was really full after that meal.. haha

Touching part will be Dear dad see me like no energy and strength, he personally gave me DOME to ask me take back home to drink.. very kind of him loh.. really take care of me even i just cough he gave me a cough syrup say this one very good for cough.. imagine who would treat you so good other than your own family.. not to say now i am just his son gf.. not even daughter in law.. wahaha...

I hope to note it down.. when times passes and when i read the past blog i know.. there is someone i know treat me this good.. *smile* Well those treat me bad de.. i will remember you all too loh.. this one no need write.. i very petty de.. will remember it by my heart.. heehee

Wednesday.. After Holiday

Very nua today.. keep wanting to fall asleep.. partly i did not sleep well.. hmm wake up every fews hours.. go wee wee lah.. by noise lah.. haiz.. i guess my panda eyes cannot cure le.. *sob*

How did you all spend your holiday??
Me? hmm morning wake up went to market with parents.. and then cook the soup for dinner.. and some funny incidents to share with you all.. haha *grin* yesterday there two blur king and queen forgotten to bring their keys out to work..and both of them need the key in order to work..zzzzzzzzz so blur right.. (no they are not related) haha.. one of them is Toro san.. so it gaves me a chance to go down his workplace to have a look.. haha..

Hmm so 4 plus i get prepare le and make my way down.. rainy day.. so bring along "xiao lan" to go.. happy for dear.. cos he bought a pair of jeans for a quite cheap price.. that could be wear during CNY le.. actually still buying a shirt de.. but no nice one so we decide to try our luck this saturday again bah..

My time is always dun seem to be enough.. yesterday planning to tidy my room.. already half way through but i still lack of cleaning them up with a cloth.. haiz.. so think got to push it this weekend.. hmm.. CNY ma.. so must make my home presentable right.. So have you clean up your room yet?? kekeke

*Sobs* Dear Dear Scold me!! *bleh* haha partly my fault too.. was buying soya bean then i forget to inform the person i want it without sugar.. when walking off back to office then he ask you got drink sweet de meh?? haiz.. den i just say.. "why didn't you remind me?" maybe my voice a bit too loud Dear thought i blame him..

Ha ha anyway i got my revenge *wink* i insist to pass him my umbrella in case he got caught in rain.. as he is goign to Orchard to work.. *bleh* but i forget very important issue.. my umbrella was a pinky one.. and with bear.. haha I guess once he open up he is cursing and swearing le.. that is why he call me and straight away ask why give him a pinky umbrella hahahhaahah... *trust me dear, i really forgotten that is a pinky umbrella.. sorry* *grin*

I got comment that my previous few blog too sad le.. maybe i should put in some happy thing too.. i do have some.. like Janet lend me her disc of "Xian Jian Qi Xia Chuan" a drama serial of TW, HKG & SIN actor & actress.. not a bad show.. although the first few disc a bit slow and boring.. but now almost half the box le.. it is getting better.. the story is gettign exciting.. From Janet.. she say she cried evey disc she watch.. but me... from the start till now i still have not drop a tears.. haha maybe like what she say.. the scene change too fast.. the emotions come too slow.. so i cannot cried out..

I especially like the song "Liu Yue De Yu"... sang by the main actor. Dear and me went to find the songs.. haha he guess a lot of song title.. but i just get it right at one try.. a bit haha.. i dun wanna say le.. or he will angry again.. Wait till i ask Dear to help me enable my blog to read chinese then i upload the song lyrics to let you all read..

hmm do you all feel that my blog a bit lack of something?? i dunno.. maybe if you all know tell me k??

hmm last night went to see dad.. he is better today.. dun think he can go back today.. if not i will receive phone call le.. and so after work going to hospital to accompany dad again.. last night only me and mom went to hospital.. we tried another route to go back.. better in a sense much faster.. maybe the fare also cheaper.. Dear at first say take cab home since tired le.. but thinking to save money.. i think i dun propose to take cab.. in the end reach back home by 9pm.. a bit tired loh.. eat le dinner then play a bit of RAN then go sleep le.. haha

RAN!!! a new game from malaysia.. i like it!!!! hahaah a bit addict to it le..Quick.. Janet and Jasper!! quick create a account so we can play together!!! hahaha

Just finish doing my work.. and reading some blogs.. my usual one.. hmm yah lots of mix feeling.. kaoz.. everyone seem to wrote down what they have done on 2005 instead like me.. do nothing.. now write seem a bit too late..haha so no point huh?

A fresh new year.. 2006 , in chinese calendar it will be the DOG year.. my dad year.. haha 12+12+12+12+12=60 years old.. Dad is about to pass his fifth Dog year... 60 is not long enough yet.. i hope he can have another 12 more years to have another Doggie Year.. Nothing much actually.. Dad was admit into NUH again on sunday.. He has a severe pain in his stomach and was unable to move himself at all.. I find myself useless why can't i be more attentive more concern when he first inform me about his pain.. If anything gonna happen to him.. i will never forgive myself..

Got home yesterday morning at 7+ after everythign settle down for dad.. went to sleep till 12+ then prepare myself again to visit dad.. He seem better.. but just some pain still.. and imagine what medi did they give.. morphine.. yet it is still not killing much of the pain.. went down with dear to walk walk.. we talk about dad.. i know i understand he want me to face the fact.. but i dun want.. the moment when he say spend more time with dad.. my tears drop.. it just drop.. i was unable to control it..

The fact now.. even though how much i tried to let him feel better.. the fact is he might not have more than 2 years with us.. i dun wish to believe that.. it seem like a deadline for him.. i prefer to hope.. mircale will appear.. i really hope that.. Please pray with me bah..