It is a monday again.. So tired.. cos yesterday happens.. alot alot of things.. after i blog those photo up... my mood starts to go down down.. cos i ask Toro san what was he want to ask on saturday.. well.. he found out i lie to him of going hougang point which in the end i turn out to be at parklane.. this hurts him a lot cos i can feel it through the way he grab my hand.. what hurts most is Janet and Japser lie together with me.. he is heart break.. but how did he get to know.. haiz.. i dun understand loh.. i not like going out just with others guys.. and his frenz went to call him to tell him he saw me at parklane.. it is like he is breaking up this relationship..

ok main point is on sunday i told him the truth and about things that be happening tomorrow.. i know he is angry and sad cos when he know about it.. the tears came rolling and asking me did i ever treat him as a bf... why i dun discuss things with him.. i am so sad too.. i know it is my fault.. i dun wanna lie anymore so i told him about tomorrow thigny... Although i did not say about letting him go, and i will go for my "bread" he knows.. and the moment he start to pulls out the ring on his hands.. my tears was out of control.. it keeps falling.. i love him.. i really do.. if not it will not be so hurt when i see what he was doing.. i slap myself for the lie.. i slap myself for hurting him.. slap myself for going for bread and not love...

At the end of the point.. i ask him to give me a week.. to quit this job and all those things that he dun like.. does this show i really love him a lot Diary?? Does that mean i love him more than any other thing?? even to give up my work?? Diary, i am confuse.. can you tell me???

Today is the first day i have given him.. i call him.. he sound happy.. maybe becos at ROM all the happy atmoshpere.. but somehow got those feeling it might be becos he has unburden a lot.. from my side.. now he is only concern what might happen tomorrow.. i am in a mess now.. i dunno what to do..